Artist: Arctic Monkeys Album: Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino Released: May 11th, 2018 Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube

THE LUNAR SURFACE (Where It All Started)

The year is 2016, Alex Turner has returned home from 30th birthday celebrations to discover a brand-new Steinway Vetregrand piano. It was a gift from his manager, and it opened a whole new world for him. “Looking back now it seems really... significant. It changed everything really.” He states about it within an interview from Mojo Magazine. He was correct. The piano sparked everything to life becoming the “centre of the universe” for the album. Guitars were just not giving him ideas anymore, but the piano was. Stored in a spare bedroom within his LA home, this became “The Lunar Surface” his almost makeshift recording studio. The name coming from the theory that Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landing. Alex even stating to Radio X that, “It was amusing to say, “I’m going down to the Lunar Surface.”” The makeshift studio also helped shape the album title, it was “instrumental” to the process. But the piano wasn’t the only thing within the makeshift studio. There was a drum kit, a Vox Continental organ, and a Tascam 388 eight-track recorder. The eight-track recorder would serve as a substantial part in making the album. “I sat with all my instruments and recorded the songs into the machine. That way, I could hear everything at once, whereas in the past it was all in my imagination until I could play the songs with the band.” He also considered it “a writing tool” as much as a recording tool. Working in isolation, he recorded tapes that would later remain on the record in forms of elements such as vocals and various instrumental parts. The eight-track even served as part of the album cover with the “lobby model” of the Hotel + Casino sitting overtop of it, with an earlier version of the record as the tape on it. The model itself was constructed by Turner. The model itself was birthed from the album title and the fact that this is the 6th Arctic Monkeys album. Thus, explaining the hexagon imagery, 1 side per album. The model first started as cardboard, left over scraps from this model can be seen in a photo from inside the Lunar Surface shot by Zackery Michael. Then it was built more and more until we arrived at the model showcased on the album’s cover. The model has a rotating sign bit that was inspired by the House of Pies rotating sign.

VOX, LA FRETTE, & BRINGING IT TOGETHER (Enter the Others)

Upon assembling some of the track, Alex took them to fellow bandmate, guitarist Jamie Cook. Jamie is considered the “gatekeeper” to band, almost like the human bullshit meter. Alex almost feared that he would underwhelmed with it. But Jamie was the one told Alex, “This is definitely what we should be doing.” This led to the pair adding guitar parts to the songs. The majority of these, like the demo tape vocals, stuck with the album. From here they took the album to Vox Recording Studios on Melrose Ave. in LA, in May 2017. This is where the first full band sessions were recorded. Some of the “more interesting” keyboard sounds within the album came from these sessions. But this did not really work out for the band. So, later in September, the band went to La Frette Studios, a residential recording studio on the outskirts of Paris. This was where the album really came together. The band spent about 5-6 weeks recording here. This was Jamie’s idea. La Frette ended up seeing the band bring in an extra 9 musicians to play with them. This also led to a ‘Pet Sounds’ style of recording. This was a large ensemble recording style with these multiple musicians and the band themselves on multiple different instruments including multiple of the same type. So, 2 drum kits, 3 guitars, a couple of pianos. This did not work for every track but did work for a few. (Specifically, The Ultracheese, but I will talk about this more later) Alex stated to BBC Radio 1 that, “A lot of the energy I feel like came from that session. It was all like together in La Frette.” Some of the La Frette sessions can be seen in the Warp Speed Chic short film shot by Ben Chappell.

THE ALBUM (Natural Progression and Influences)

The album overall is 11 tracks. Many believe that the album is a concept album revolving around the Hotel + Casino, but that is not the case. Each one is a “short story” in the words of Turner. Four Out Of Five and the title tracking being the most connected of the collection. "But in other ways it does seem like a collection of short stories and we named the collection after one of the stories which is this one [Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino]. The other ones belong in the same place as this." (Radio X Track by Track interview). The title of the album itself came from a variety of things. The two most prominent being: the fact it is a “place”, and the location of the Apollo 11 moon landing. One thing should be known about the idea of the hotel and casino being a place, Turner loves to think of albums of places. “I think of some of my favorite records as places that you can go and stay for a while, and sort of spurred me on to give this record the name of a place.” (iHeart) The other part of the name itself coming from the Apollo 11 landing may be considered more interesting. This is due to the fact it may have come from cups themed with the lunar landing. The title of course is not the only interesting thing about the album. The sound itself is a departure from their last, AM. But the band all feel like this was natural progression. But the AM era was where they felt they had went a little too far. Bassist Nick O’Malley told Mojo Magazine that he felt that they had lost the “realness” in a sense with that era. “I think we'd gone as far as we could go. I had these crazy ‘80s hair metal leggings on-stag. I'd worn ‘em on Halloween, which I'd done dressed as Macho Man Randy Savage, the WWF wrestler. That was a big sign that it was time to have a break.” And with that they took a break, a five year long one. Turner himself was also aware that he could not do what he did on AM again, “I was aware of the idea that, I don’t think I could have been singing about the things I was singing about on AM anymore.” (Studio Brussels) This was not the first time the band has faced this “challenge” of switching it up. The same thing had happened with their 3rd album Humbug. Drummer Matt Helders states, “We’ve had that challenge before, after the first album success where we had to just get on and make the second, or else forever be dwelling on it. But this one didn’t feel like that. I mean, maybe there’ll be fans we gained from AM that will be a bit confused now. Like, that was their first experience of the band... ‘and now they’re going this?’” (Mojo Magazine) But the band did not want to make AM 2.0. Guitarist Jamie Cook stated to Mojo Magazine, “If we were worried about that we would never have made Humbug. And to disappear for a couple of years then come back with AM2? I think people have been, ‘Fuck off.’” But of course, this move was not met without criticism. Many fans and critics found themselves in a state of “What the fuck happened to Arctic Monkeys?” upon their new era and album due to the departure of sound from AM. But Turner himself does not see this a full-fledged departure, “There’s an idea that this album’s radically removed from where we’ve been. I can sort of see that, but I don’t think it’s as much of a move as people suggest.” (LA Times)
The album takes multiple film influences, science fiction influences, and musical influences from film scores to help make these “short stories”. Science Fiction inspired Turner to explore other worlds to create the album. Worlds he made up as he went along. Three films from Jean-Pierre Melville served as main influences on the album. The films being Un Flic, Le Cercle Rouge, and Le Samouraï. The films mostly center around a jazz club. The set interiors of these films piqued Turner’s interest. “So, when I would sit at the piano and play these types of chords, I was thinking about those Melville interiors a lot.” (Pitchfork) Overall, the sci-fi influenced led to Turner accessing sort of a “vocabulary” to say, that helped paint this picture of this hotel and casino on the moon.
The album also has this “magic” that they just could not get upon other recording sessions. This led to many of the demo tapes and early session elements making it to the file cut. They wanted to make an intimate experience but just could not get it to be as intimate as some of the early recording.
The album itself is also “autobiographical” in a sense. Turner sees it as him talking to himself all throughout the 11 tracks. But this wasn’t his first time trying to write things towards himself. “I tried to write this kind of thing before, I just didn’t know how to, really. I think I tried and recognized, thankfully, that I wasn’t ready. It's like the natural place to have gone, after that first record, was somewhere around ‘ere.”

THE TRACKS

STAR TREATMENT
Opening the album, we have Star Treatment, an almost 6-minute-long track. The track itself beings with the line “I just wanted to be one of The Strokes.” A polarizing opening line for a polarizing album. This lyric was originally meant to be replaced, but Turner kept it in. He was using the “Scrambled Eggs” method for the album. The “Scrambled Eggs” method comes from Paul McCartney where he used “scrambled eggs” as temporary lyrics while writing The Beatles’ song ‘Yesterday’. This just happened to be one of those lines. But he took a liking to it the more time went on. The Strokes of course were a big influence on the band, they were even coined “The British Strokes” upon debut. But truth is, time has passed since then. About 12 years to be exact. “But when I circled back around to it I felt like it was right where it ought to be because of how it makes me think, “Shit. The last 12 years just flashed by.” There’s an honesty and a truth to it.” (Pitchfork) The passage of time is a constant theme within this track, with references to the ‘70s, the ‘80s. This track was the first thing Turner had written for the album. It came about during the last run of The Last Shadow Puppets (Turner’s side-project with Miles Kane). But this is also the most direct Turner was with himself on the album. Specifically, about songwriting. Lines like “The golden boy’s in bad shape,” refer to the fact he was lost with his songwriting and did not know where to go. But like how the track had started before the album itself had started, there’s a particular line that had existed since 2009. “Here ain’t no place for dolls like you and me,” That was the line. He had tried giving it away to others to put in a track, but no one would take it. So, he saved it because he didn’t have “follow up” per say yet but found it within this track. Another focal point for the track is the lounge singer and his backing band. This lounge singer theme can be seen through, but this is where it starts. This is where the lounge singer gets the name for his band. “I think I like the idea that there would be a longue singer sat at a bar, overhearing somebody being cut off from having another martini and hearing them say “Who are you to cut me off? The martini police?” and then this lounge singer thinking “That would be a good name for my backing band.”” (Radio X) But this track serving as the opening track overall sets a tone for the album. Upon sharing the music with others, they decided this would be the best place to start the album, a way to get people to hear it first and foremost. The other way to do this would have been releasing it as a single. But they took what can be seen a controversial move in this era of streaming and singles being more prominent than albums to release no singles. Like how this track led to Turner writing the rest of the album, it leads you, the listener, into the rest of the album.
ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE
One Point Perspective is the shortest track on the album, but it does pack quite a bit of a punch. With the title coming from a filming style, specifically one used a lot by Stanley Kubrick, a main influence on the album, we dig a bit more into the sci-fi roots. The track itself focuses on conversations, dreams, and how they are often interrupted. “It was informed perhaps by conversations I may have heard or been involved with. Under the influence of some narcotic draft or another. And fragments of those things are appearing the lyrics on this tune.” (Radio X) The track also focuses briefly on a made-up documentary called “Singsong ‘Round the Money Tree”. “I think specifically in the case of this documentary, there was something else there. And it came from the “If I’m gonna end up singing to a quiet room, like what comes before that.” Perhaps someone had told me they’d been singing along to a score or something.” (Radio X) Of course this brings us to the quiet rooms. What exactly are the quiet rooms? Well they’re exactly what they sound like, literal quiet rooms. But they also refer to isolation experienced by Turner while recording the album. With the vocal takes, especially the early tape ones, it would just be him, alone in the Lunar Surface with his eight-track. Of course, there’s also the line “Bear with me, man, I lost my train of thought.” This one is followed by a pause in the vocals and is usually played up for the live shows, but it represents that spot in a conversation where you really do lose your train of thought. Maybe it’s your mind wandering, maybe it’s that you are being interrupted and then trying to resume what you were talking about but forgot. But, it’s a universal feeling that ties together this track.
AMERICAN SPORTS
American Sports is an interesting track. Not just musically, but lyrically. Music wise an organ plays a main part in the track. The organ though was strangely organized upon recording. With Turner doing one bar, recording it, stopping, doing another bar. Eventually in later recording sessions they attempted to play it all together but just could not get the same effect/sound as the one from the eight-track tape, so they stuck with that. The vocals were also from the eight-track tape. Lyrical wise the track was pulled together by a line given to Turner from his grandfather. “I visited me Granddad one day and he said to me, ‘You know, I often think of phrases even there that I think you might be able to do something with.’ And I sort of went ‘All right.’ He likes to watch the horse-racing, and he began to tell me that whenever there’s what’s called a ‘steward’s inquiry,’- All you ever hear back after the steward’s inquiry is the phrase ‘the trainer's explanation was accepted by the steward.’ Which, as he said it I just thought was loaded.” (iHeart) This was what sparked the rest of the track. But there’s one question left, what the fuck is Lola? Well, a Lola is his writer’s block. Seen within the chorus with the line “And I never thought, not in a million years, that I’d meet so many Lolas.” He gives the writer’s block a bit of a personification. The track also gives us more callbacks to technology, another overlapping theme within the album. The narrator describes a video call with God, and a virtual reality mask stuck on ‘Parliament Brawl’. The parliament brawl also allows this track to get a little political. This can be seen heavily within the first line of the second verse, “Breaking news, they take the truth and make it fluid,” mostly referring to the phenomena of ‘Fake News’. Overall, the track makes for an interesting take combining writer’s block, political problems, and technology.
TRANQUILITY BASE HOTEL + CASINO
The title track serves as the fourth track to the album. Opening with imagery of Jesus in a day spa. But the track itself is built upon the idea of the character Mark. Mark of course is a character in the track who answers phones, mostly stating the name of the hotel and casino while asking where he can direct your call. First Turner pictured Mark at this phone, then he pictured where the phone was after that. This led of course to the album title, but it also leads back into the track itself. This of course is played off well in the video, but we’ll get to that in a bit. As the track builds you a bit more of this world of the hotel and casino on the moon, it also leads to some interesting lines. One in particular being “Kiss me underneath the moon’s sideboob.” Question of the year being, what the fuck is the moon’s sideboob? Well, the term was coined by guitarist Jamie Cook. “There was a really thin crescent moon in the sky, which Jamie from the band described as the moon's sideboob and I thought that was like quite profound.” (Studio Brussel) Another odd line within the track is “Technological advances really bloody get me in the mood”, this is a bit of a satire. But is also a slight observation. This observation being that technology sometimes changes society, especially when advances are made. These changes can be reflected in the way we talk to others, the way we act, and many other aspects of our life that we may not fully realize at first. For the record though, technological advances do not turn him on.
Onto the video, this was the second single from the album, and the second video. The video was released on the 23rd of July. Directed by Ben Chappell and Aaron Brown, the video continues an overlapping Kubrick inspired theme. Unfortunately, Turner is the only one from the band who fully makes an appearance in the video. The others are briefly shown through footage from their BCC Maida Vale Studios session appearing on displays though out the “sets”. Throughout this video there’s sections where the track and video break a bit for some flashing red lights followed by some “doots” taking over the audio, like the Four Out of Five video. The video was filmed at the Peppermill Reno, a hotel and casino within Las Vegas, Nevada. The Peppermill Reno were nice enough to write a blog post about the video breaking down the locations of the video. The video took two days of film to shoot within the area. The first location they filmed at was the Fireside Longue. This is the first time Turner, playing out the character of Mark, is handed a phone. The phone was handed to him by a worker from the Café Milano within the hotel and casino. Two different suites are featured throughout the video. The first being the Safari Adventure Suite. This is home to many of the hot tub scenes. The other being the Roman Opulence suite, this was the all gold room. There’s also the elevator shots that came from the 17th floor elevators. The wandering around the hotel and casino shots, mostly shot within the cube bar and the island buffet. And some phone call answering with the Tuscany Tower’s courtesy phone. There’s one other particular phone scene within this video I decided to save for last due the fact that it is going to come up a bit later. The second phone call is answered within a replica of the 1966 Batmobile via the Batphone. This serves as a nice callback to one of the later tracks on the album titled, Batphone. During these shots he also is fake driving with a projected image of a tunnel in the background, this also comes up in the Four Out of Five video, but we’ll get into that on that track.
GOLDEN TRUNKS
Believe it or not this the “love song” on the album. Yeah. The track is described by Turner as being a conversation between him and an unnamed female character he is falling for. But that all gets overshadowed by the semi-titular line, “The leader of the free world, reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks.” The line does steal the show for being out there in a sense. The beginning of the line is a bit cumbersome to say the least, but it is almost melodic in another sense via the delivery. But this overall is just another part of the conversation with this female character. It may even be part of her imagination, you know, something she’s saying. Almost giving us a retrospective into her thoughts, feelings, and sense of humor. This all leads towards the bridge of the track. “Bendable figures with a fresh new pack of lies, Summat else to publicise, I'm sure you've heard about enough.” Almost showing us how fast the conversation is moving along. But also showing that you get to a point where you don’t know what to believe in the conversation or really what to believe in the track. The bridge also brings another interesting point forward. The words in particular, ‘Bendable Figures’ was almost the track’s title. “Which was because, someone got me a toy Batmobile, and it came with bendable figures of Batman and Robin, I assume, among others possibly. I’ve made a bit of a name for me since, and I mean, I am a fan of the old Batman book. I remember looking at this box and on the box it said ‘bendable figures’ and I don’t know. The news might have been on in the background, and here we are.” (iHeart) Another interesting point of the track is how straight the narrator and this female character are with each other. They both are basically telling each other that they fantasize about each other. She says it by whispering in his ear, he says it by responding to her straightly.
FOUR OUT OF FIVE
Another track with an interesting open, this one was originally different lyric-wise. Originally the words were ‘Karaoke and raspberry beret, in imaginative ways, and I get signed right then and there by a hotshot executive / I wasn’t expecting it that easy.’ Quite a departure from the final version that appears on the track. Four Out of Five served as the first single to the album. The track describes a taqueria on the roof the Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino, and more particularly how it is boasting four stars out of five. Mostly just how perfect scores are unattainable so a four of five is great enough, “Because the people that are in charge of giving the scores, they never give a perfect hundred.” (Beats 1) The taqueria itself is named “The Information-Action Ratio” this comes from Neil Postman's book ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death’. “I was attracted to the idea as soon as I heard that phrase; even though it was in this book from [1985] it still seemed relevant—more relevant than it probably was when the guy made it up.” (Pitchfork) The phrase itself explains that we don’t need the vast amount of information we receive and that we don’t do much about this information. But it’s a great name for a taqueria on the roof of a hotel and casino on the moon. The track itself also gives us more of the story about the hotel itself. Mostly its location, other than the moon itself. We learn that the entire moon is getting gentrified due to an exodus. There’s also a really cool play musically where the last chorus literally is lifted up another semitone after it’s said at the end of the bridge.
Onto the video for this one, the Kubrick fantasy filming begins here. Directed by Ben Chappell and Aaron Brown, the video was released on the 13th of May. The video was filmed at the Castle Howard in Yorkshire and the Munich Marienplatz station in Munich, Germany. The video starts with Turner playing a piano but then stopping to go look at the model of the hotel and casino. Throughout this video there’s sections where the track and video break a bit for some flashing red lights followed by some “doots” taking over the audio. Then, the video sees Turner taking the role of a director for some “Video Lifestyle Packages” for the hotel and casino. But it also gives us two different Turners. One with a beard, one without. The two doing seemingly parallel tasks within different areas. The other band members are also seen within the video, mostly jamming out. Especially with the nice little jam session with beardless Turner in the end. Due to the fact there’s two seemingly different Turners this has led to fan theories surrounding the video. Some stating that maybe the hotel and casino is some cover up for a mental hospital, another stating that maybe it’s both sides of his life (regulaprofessional). Assistants are also seen throughout the video setting up sets and other things, almost as if this was a film set. There’s also one scene in particular I’d like to touch on, the car scenes. This one is a bit important because it almost calls back the “haunt you via the rear-view mirror” line from Star Treatment. This scene was originally intended to be used in a video for Star Treatment, but they used it here instead. Overall, the video a bit of a visual treat with its cues from Stanley Kubrick and was more than a fitting visual return for Arctic Monkeys going into this era.
THE WORLD’S FIRST EVER MONSTER TRUCK FRONT FLIP
Yeah that’s a title to get your attention. The title comes from the actual event of the world’s first ever monster truck front flip. This was something that had caught Turner’s interest and will probably catch yours too upon just reading it. Sure, he may have only watched the video once, but the headline itself was what caught his attention. Later on, he used it create the base for what he was imagining with the track. “I think I imagined a sort of old presidents’ men style news room with just enough men in there. And sorta trying to get the editors attention like “You'll never believe it, somebody's done it forwards” and I think going off in my mind, perhaps and I thought, I don't know... It seems like that's where were at now innit, that sort of things are happening." (Radio X) The track itself lyrically describes TECHNOLOGY. More specifically, how people love their devices. “You push the button and we’ll do the rest” a repeating line that refers to how we’ve gotten so far that you can just push a button, and something will happen. Whether it be something within an app or data storage. Data storage is another important theme within the track. Our data is being stored everywhere. The track uses the data storage as a metaphor in many ways, with things like someone trying to breach into it. But overall the track itself just shows us how technology is changing us, references to technology changing us lie throughout. But we also see a bit of a jab at how no one wants to explain what the technology is exactly doing, “There are things that I just cannot explain to you, and those that I hope I don’t ever have to.” This wraps everything back around because it ties into the theme of just pushing a button and having everything done for us. We don’t see the background process, we don’t know what exactly they do, we just know that we can push a button and it will be done.
SCIENCE FICTION
True to the title, the track explores the themes of Science Fiction. Science Fiction is the “lobby model” of the album, as in it brings it all together. The track started with the idea of exploring Sci-Fi further and exploring worlds created from this, same with the album. One of the things in particular that sparked this was the Fassbinder film ‘World on a Wire’. Sci-Fi takes these themes and attempts to connect them to the real world and even Tranquility Base. Continuing the overarching theme of technology, this one takes the focus on how we’re viewing society due to technology, again. Making light touches on religion, we can see how in this “area” per say, science has won. But we also see how it feels like Sci-Fi is taking over in the form of a reality that feels strange and almost fictional at points. Technology keeps becoming a bigger part of our lives to the point where it almost disconnects us in a way. The narrator in this track wants to avoid that, he wants to stay within the life of his love. But it’s hard with things changing so much and society also changing. He states that he wants to make a “simple point” about peace and love but not too obviously. And this track almost feels like that point. But then it takes a bit of a turn at the end. We see the narrator take this back a bit and Turner begin to doubt if he’s wandering on too much with the track itself. “So, I tried to write a song to make you blush. But I’ve a feeling that the whole thing, may well just end up too clever for its own good.” Describing it as too clever shows that he feels like he’s overthinking it all. With a track with an almost double meaning like this it is a bit easy to understand why it may be “too clever”.
SHE LOOKS LIKE FUN
Ah yes, the rock and roll song of the record. Or well, the rock and roll without the roll. IT’S ALL ROCK MUSIC TO ALEX TURNER DAMMIT. This track has been described as frenzy but controlled. The structure of the track itself reflects that, “It goes like 3 verses in this tune before anything else changes. And I think like by that third one you get this sense of like you shouldn't be doing it again, it's time to move somewhere else. And eventually it does happen.” (Radio X) The main idea for this track came from the fact we almost create these “characters” within the virtual world. You know, your online presence through social media. The title itself is refrained throughout the track as the chorus and refers to how we just look a photo and decide what people are like. In this case the female titular character of the track is described to look like “fun”. Furthermore, this is joined but what may seem to be a non-sensical string of words. But, it’s meant to represent scrolling through a social feed like Instagram. “As far as the “cheeseburger” line, I was actually watching an episode of the show “High Maintenance,” and there’s a part where the person’s taking their picture with a cheeseburger and posting it and all this.” (Pitchfork) The verses focus more on the internet culture and the behavior of those within. Whether this behavior be something like a VR experience of New Year’s Eve at Bruce Wayne’s Manor or being a dickhead to someone. It’s about how we can almost do whatever we want with almost no restrictions in this virtual landscape. The bridge brings it to a point where we realize, it almost feels like everything is online nowadays. This follows by some lines of Turner criticizing himself for constantly talking about marital arts to people in bars. This mostly draws from Turner’s frequent kickboxing sessions. “Maybe sometimes I put stuff into a song to stop myself from doing it - I think I’m just realising that’s true. Like there’s a line in the middle of She Looks Like Fun about waffling on to strangers about martial arts in bars, and that was definitely something I was doing a lot of and was aware I needed to stop doing.” (Mojo Magazine) Also this marks the second time within the album where he says something regarding the music and it happens. This time being in the form of a key change. The last chorus features a key change that is in time with him stating it in the track.
BATPHONE
The all mighty Batman comes into a focus theme upon this track! Okay... Barely. A “Batphone” in the sense of this track is a direct line to Turner via his phone. The track deals with analysis and criticism of technology all at once. Opening on Turner realizing that he can just use a search engine to find a more interesting word to describe what he’s trying to say. Which, it wasn’t always like this, there was a time where you’d have to go through whole thesauruses to find this interesting words or phrases. Now they’re just a click/tap/touch away. Moving along we see that the narrator in the track specifically is of high class, stating that there’s much to discuss over a game of golf. Of course, that is phrased better within the track itself but for simplicities sake I’m just going to leave it at that. Then he gets into the fact life is a “spectator sport”. Through social media we sit and watch other people’s lives unfold like watching a sport almost. Then we get to a line that may seem more polarizing that it is. “I launch my fragrance called ‘Integrity’ I sell the fact that I can’t be bought.” Upon hearing this line for the first time you may think “What the fuck kind of pretentious bullshit is this trying to be?” Well, that’s exactly where you’re wrong. The idea of a fragrance called ‘Integrity’ is literally just that. “With something like that, I can’t sit here and tell you I wanted to make some comment about integrity and my relationship to it, and then make a fucking perfume out of it and write a smart-ass line like that. It’s more like I see the shape of the letters of “integrity” on the perfume bottle in my mind’s eye—once you know what that font looks like, then it writes itself after that.” (Pitchfork) Yeah, the line came from the visualization of perfume literally called ‘Integrity’. (Which, hilariously, there is one now called that.) Back to the lyrics, we see Turner talk about how he got “sucked into a hole” through a handheld device, this means his phone. Of course, we do all get a bit sucked into our phones now and again. It happens. And now it’s easier than ever. This being due to things like updates to make it easier to access things. The glow of the low beams within this track may be the car lights of your lover. But we do know that he will be by the Batphone if you need to get a hold of him at all. With our phones so close to us at all times, it’s almost like we all have personal Batphones. Then we get into how phones have changed over time. Coining them as “re-decorated” with new lights and sidebars upon them changing. Back the chorus again we see Turner sitting in his living room, with blinds closed, watching the lights of cars going by, but knowing that he'd know those of the car of his lover. Ending upon the panoramic windows again. These are said to be “looking out across your soul”, this is simply just our phone screens. They’re glass, windows are glass. But we look and see things on display including our souls, you know, our lives. Thus, making your soul being put on display through these “windows”. Sure, it’s not just your own soul, there are other people in this world, but it’s important you know that it is yours first and foremost on display. Always remember, whatever you put online, others will see.
THE ULTRACHEESE
Our closing track is a something that could be called Turner’s “Default Position” at this rate. But that does not mean it’s a bad thing. This track in particular is one where we see the Pet Sounds influenced recording style come to life, with multiple drum kits, multiple guitars, and pianos within the recording. The track sees Turner reflect on his past and how things have changed overtime. The title comes from the fact that the track may be a bit too “Cheesy” for everyone except himself. Songwriting of course has changed over time the most for him, upon talking about old tracks he stated, “It feels like we’re doing a cover or something when we play the first album, really, but that’s fine. I don’t hate doing that. It’s just come to the point where I play ‘Mardy Bum’ or something like that and it doesn’t even feel like mine anymore.” (BeatRoute) He feels disconnected from his old lyrics, which is sad but true statement. Of course, this track also touches quickly upon the themes of technology and politics throughout the track. But overall, it’s more just a personal reflection upon everything. Turner even describes himself as not being deep in thought, even if it looks like he was. He’s just living his life, good or bad, it’s just how everything is going down. The track ends the album on the line “I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done, but I haven’t stopped loving you once.” We all have things we regret in our lives. Sometimes that shit gets us out of nowhere and ends up on our minds. But we also see Turner telling his lover that he just loves them throughout it. Throughout all the good, the bad, the dirty bullshit, he still loves them.

THE B-SIDE (Anyways)

Yeah I was not finishing this without talking about the B-Side that was released with the title track on the 7” single. The B-side is titled ‘Anyways’ and was cut from the album. “I had a song that didn’t make this record with lyrics that mentioned both Bing Crosby and Randy Newman. And I just thought, You can’t do that. You can have one or the other. Just fucking calm down! You don’t want to make a song too lumpy.” (Vulture) Anyways here means the topic of a conversation and trying to change it. The narrator keeps trying to change the conversation. This can be seen throughout the track with a change in subject seemingly every few lines. One minute talking about toga parties, the next asking about if Mum and Dad are doing well. It’s just topic after topic in this “race” to Anyways. Technology appears again, with a quick mention of oversharing, something that is prevalent throughout the world of social media. Going back the Four Out of Five video from earlier we have a quick mention of a double life. This of course being the public/personal personas or home/professional personas. Much of the rest of the track just shows Turner bearing his all out there for everyone to see and making light of this. “You sort of reveal a piece of something as you’re writing and recording it. Then you find what you’re attracted to, scribble away a bit more of the dust and discover a bit more of the picture. Gradually, it becomes what it is. Each time you reveal another bit of it, it commits you to take the next step.” (BeatRoute) Some argue that this would have made a more “fitting” close for the album than The Ultracheese, other argue that it could have fit in literally anywhere on the album. Overall, I’m just glad it did get released it in the end.

REFLECTIONS IN THE SILVER SCREEN (An Outro)

I first listened to the album when it leaked. Shit on me all you want but I was just so curious. The whole no singles thing intrigued me alongside the sci-fi theme. I was looking for something different and I found it with this album. At the time did I know this was going to be my album of the year? No. Fuck, I barely knew anything about AM at the time apart from Do I Wanna Know?. I coined it as something along the lines of “What Death of A Bachelor could should been.” Turner constantly describes this album as one where he wanted to take people to a place, to this imaginary hotel and casino, and I was taken there upon first listen. I felt like I was sitting, watching a longue singer belt out tunes about his life. Of course, now on the right night I can recreate that feeling, but not always. But the album has just stuck me. Sure, many upon first hearing it found it off putting, but I loved it since first listen. If anything, this album was what made me a fan. This is what me look at AM and go “There’s something here I was missing.” Sure, it did take me months to act upon that, but I’m glad I did. Do I know where AM are going to go next? No. I don’t think any of us really do anymore. This album proved how unpredictable it is to calculate Arctic Monkeys in a way. Maybe the next record will be guitar based again, maybe not. We’ll only know when it comes, no matter how far away that is.

GOLDEN BOY’S NOT IN SUCH BAD SHAPE (Nominations)

Album:

• 2018 Mercury Prize Nomination
• Best Alternative Music Album (Grammy Awards)

Four Of Five:

• Best Rock Performance (Grammy Awards)

/Hockey NHL Power Rankings Week Feb 5, 2018 - Feb 11, 2018

Thank You

Thank you to all of the volunteers doing the power rankings. Each ranker has their own system and have their own reasonings and analyis. It truly is a lot of work.

Rankers

Spoiler

Organizers

Spoiler

Visualization

The visualization contains historical data, so you can see how your team has done over time. Hopefully, we can run this for many years in hopes that we can see the rise and fall of teams by /hockey opinion.
It automatically updates so feel free to bookmark. You can find it here

Process

How does this work? Throughout the course of the week rankers are able to access an app that will allow them to rank teams. At the end of the period we calculate the average ranking for every team and collate all of the analysis provided by rankers.
The app then generates a post that is first proofread and then posted to /hockey!

Rankings (28/31 Rankers Reporting)

Ranking (avg)	Team	Delta	Overall Record	Record This Week	Comments
1 (2.75)	Boston Bruins	1	34-12-8	3-1-0	Despite their first regulation loss since December, the Bruins have continued winning in regulation to offset their losses. They continue to pressure against the Tampa squad above them for first in the Division/Conference/League.
2 (2.78)	Tampa Bay Lightning	-1	38-14-3	2-1-0	The defense continues to play like hot garbage, but at least we have Vasy making impossible saves . The Bolts will need to remember how to play a full 60 minutes if they hope to live up to their post-season potential. Vinny show them the way #ForeverABolt
3 (4.78)	Vegas Golden Knights	-	36-15-4	1-2-0
4 (4.78)	Nashville Predators	-	33-12-9	2-0-2	To quote renough: "We got the blackout bingo on all possible OT outcomes on this road trip!" Sure, it made a 4 game week on the road even longer and more exhausting for the players, but thankfully the team has a couple extra days to rest before beginning a 4 game home stand. In other news, I guess this thing called a "trade deadline" is coming up; however, in my (totally not an expert) opinion I don't really expect the Preds to be active. With Fisher set to un-retire potentially by March, we're fairly set at centre (that still feels weird to say). The only move that seems to makes sense is at wing, and I don't think Poile pulls the trigger unless the price is a legitimate steal. Then again, David Poile is a wizard so who knows? #puttheNashinNashville
5 (6.72)	St. Louis Blues	1	34-21-3	2-2-0	I wish I had written this before Sunday's game against Pittsburgh, but I suppose this team still had an ok week. Two big wins against divisional teams, one big loss against a divisional team, and one disappointing loss to Pittsburgh. I'd like to see some more consistency, but I'm still confident in this team.
6 (6.97)	Toronto Maple Leafs	1	33-19-5	3-0-0	Mitchy Marnman has the magic hands, The Golden Ginger Save god is the best goaltender not in Vezina conversations. The lineup is rolling. The Buds are skating, and we're coming for that Boston booty, either now or in the playoffs. We can be pissed that w're going to have to play the 1st and 3rd best teams to get to the ECF, but to be the best you gotta beat the best, ya' know?
7 (7.28)	Dallas Stars	2	33-20-4	3-1-0
8 (8.13)	Winnipeg Jets	-3	32-15-9	1-2-0	The Jets played like horseshit this week. That's a technical term. We lucked out a win against Arizona, and we got our asses handed to us by the Blues for our 1st home regulation loss since the Chicago game. Instead of turning the race for 1st central into a 2 horse race, we let the Blues back into it. At least Scheifele is back, a rather large consolation prize, reuniting the Laine-Scheifele-Wheeler line to wreak havoc against our opposition.
9 (8.91)	Washington Capitals	1	32-17-6	2-0-1	Another week another battle between method and results. I've talked about that to death though so here's this: Washington's best 9 forwards should be in their top 9 every night (3rd line Stephenson aside). Benching Burakovsky and Vrana is becoming more than annoying - so far we've only seen my ideal lineup once this year. PS we should trade for McDonagh
10 (11.13)	Pittsburgh Penguins	2	31-22-4	2-0-1	Our boy came home
11 (11.94)	Minnesota Wild	2	30-19-6	2-0-1	The only thing consistent about this Minnesota team is their inconsistency: 1. Dominate the Blues in a rare road win. 2. Completely implode against the worst team in the NHL at home by coughing up a 3-0 lead. 3. Turn around 48 hours later and shut out the Blackhawks. 4. Team Liquid. 5. ??? 6. Profit?
12 (12.88)	Los Angeles Kings	3	30-20-5	2-1-0	For a moment it looked like there may have been a potential Goaltending controversy brewing in LA. Darcy Kuemper saw his shutout streak end at 193:58, and got the nod ahead of Quick in a start earlier this week. Quick however is still firmly locked in as the starter. The Kings got some much needed momentum back, but fell to the Lightning (mainly Vasilevskiy) on Saturday, who somehow managed to make this incredible save against Kopitar. https://streamable.com/ovgit The Kings lost American Hero Trevor Lewis this week against the Panthers and will hope that the 4th line continues to impress in his absence.
13 (14.28)	Philadelphia Flyers	6	28-19-9	4-0-0	An overtime and a shootout win this week against two teams lower than the Flyers in the standings aren't great but all told, 4 wins in a week is still 4 wins. The Flyers have the best record in the division since the middle of December and are holding down a non-wildcard playoff position at this point. The Elliott injury will test this team but right now they're rolling.
14 (14.41)	San Jose Sharks	-	30-18-8	2-2-0
15 (15.22)	Calgary Flames	1	29-19-8	3-1-0	3 wins this week is nice but Mike Smith is now out with an injury. Luckily Rittich has been more than capable in the games he has has started especially for a goalie that most people don’t even know exists.
16 (15.53)	Colorado Avalanche	-5	30-21-4	2-2-0	Away from home the Avs are not a playoff team, hopefully this is just a part of our youth, but lacking Mackinnon we have issues scoring on the road, with the exception of playing Buffalo. Its been great to see Jost start to play really well, but we still need to grow a bit more. Also premier Trade bait Blake Comeau is injured.
17 (16.53)	Anaheim Ducks	1	27-19-11	2-1-1	With Vegas hording the top position in the Pacific and the Thunderdome hording the Wild Card spots, it's looking like at least one of the three Cali teams will be out of the playoffs this year. Allowing one of those teams to not only come back from 2 down in the third, but then have them win in the SO is a step down the road of being the one on the outside looking in.
18 (17.5)	Columbus Blue Jackets	-1	28-23-4	1-2-0	5 game losing skid in which we're doing a lot of the right things, but no results. The 6-1 win to finally break the losing skid was the first time since December that we've scored more than three goals in a game. Our playoff spot that we've had all year is now gone and it's doubtful we'll get it back.
19 (18.03)	Carolina Hurricanes	3	26-21-9	2-0-1	After a stretch of bad hockey the Canes showed up in their back to back this weekend. This team needs to play consistently like they have the last two games or it'll be another year just below the cut line
20 (18.41)	New Jersey Devils	-10	27-20-8	0-4-0	Perhaps a team will understandably play worse when their franchise goalie is out for an extended period of time. Perhaps expectations were set far too high at the beginning of a season that was billed as a rebuilding year with unsustainable performances. But, perhaps, no matter what else happened this week, seeing Brad Marchand get laid out on his ass was worth all the losing. I mean not really, but it was nice regardless.
21 (19.75)	New York Islanders	-1	27-24-6	1-2-1	After saying for months this team was figured out, it is pretty clear now. They are a top heavy offense, maybe the best top-6 in the NHL. Barzal is an absolute gem and will be a top player in the league for a long time. Aside from that it pretty much falls apart. The bottom-6 is inconsistent and constantly fields players that shouldn't be in the NHL (Chimera, Quine, Fritz). Missing Kulemin had a far bigger effect than anybody could have imaged. The defense is miserable and has two borderline bottom pairing NHL defenders (Mayfield and Pelech) signed to term for an inexplicable reason. Leddy and Boychuk are still terrific defenders but have been worn out from injuries and trying to carry this defense all year. On the bright side Pulock and Aho are very promising young d-men, but again Garth Snow decided to extend others for multiple years seemingly just to make it seem like his own draft picks are worth being in the NHL. Lastly when it comes down to goaltending, Jaroslav Halak has been nothing short of remarkable the last couple of months, while Thomas Greiss has been the NHLs worst goaltender since signing his contract extension. Can you guess which one's contract ends this year and which one has a couple more years? All other goalies in the Islanders org have a COMBINED TOTAL of less than 10 games played in the NHL, and while Sorokin is a top prospect, there is nobody who can guarantee when or IF he will join the Islanders. This team is not ready to compete right now and trading pieces in a desperate attempt to make the playoffs this year would be a mistake. Changes will have to be made at an organizational level and everything outside of the front-6 and top pairing will need to be revisited if the team wants to compete. And finally all of this will have to be done in a way to keep John Tavares happy, so the franchises modern day savior and best player of the last 20+ years doesn't depart in the offseason
22 (20.78)	New York Rangers	-1	27-24-5	2-2-0	It was a weird week for the New York Wolfpack. This is where I was expecting to say #InTheLatrineForDahlin or something, but there's just one problem: Hank can't tank. This team sucks ass, everyone is getting injured, and our new backup goalie is McBackup, but despite it all Lundqvist still has no clue how to drive a tank.
23 (23.44)	Florida Panthers	1	23-23-6	1-1-0	Harri Sateri's era of dominance has finally come to an end. I never thought I'd see the day but here we are. 2017-2018 Panthers struggle defensively and with Sateri our #3 goalie it makes it hard to compete during this injured netminder season. Sateri may be the second coming of Roberto Luongo but he needs some help to be a magician. Hopefully once we're healthier we'll be a stronger team.
24 (24.03)	Chicago Blackhawks	-1	24-23-8	0-3-0	Man, what a week. The Hawks dropped three straight to teams (CGY, DAL, MIN) we had to beat to even have a chance at stumbling into the playoffs. Shots and shot attempts are certainly not lacking (40 shots on average this week), but the puck just isn't finding the back of the net. Next week bodes just as tough, as they face Vegas on the end of a back-to-back, followed by Anaheim and Washington. The door is all but closed in for the playoffs unless we basically win out the rest of the season. I'm not ready to call the Fat Lady on stage just yet, but she's behind the curtain warming her vocal cords. On the upside of things, Crow is skating again and will travel with the team to Arizona, and our draft odds are getting better every day. So we got that goin' for us, which is nice.
25 (24.91)	Detroit Red Wings	1	22-23-9	1-1-1	Cal Clutterbuck deserves an Oscar. Ken Holland hasn't made one trade yet. I'm slowly slipping into a depression. I think that covers it all for this past week.
26 (25.84)	Edmonton Oilers	-1	23-27-4	1-3-0	The only reason to watch Oilers games from now to the end of the season is to see if McDavid can win the scoring race, or to trigger your nostalgia about the 2012-2013 season.
27 (26.38)	Montreal Canadiens	1	22-26-7	0-1-1	Habs are good? Nah, Habs are bad. Tank is good? Welp, its rolling, i'll tell you that much. I don't even think I can begin to state the work this team needs to be a cup contending team,,,,,, god damn habs :( player of the week: Lehk the Snek
28 (27.16)	Buffalo Sabres	2	16-30-10	2-1-1	In sorrow we must go, but not in despair.
29 (27.44)	Ottawa Senators	-	19-26-9	2-1-0	If we beat the leafs I was going to rank the Sens at #1. Unfortunately, they kicked our ass. What a let down after two wins against playoff teams earlier in the week. Oh well, maybe there will be some fireworks at the trade deadline. Ceci+Oduya for a conditional 7th rounder in 2069?? It's the least Pierre Dorion can do after signing that cushy three year contract extension.
30 (28)	Vancouver Canucks	-3	22-28-6	1-3-0	There's probably some Canuck fan out there who wondered, earlier in the week, "Can things get any worse?" This undoubtedly prompted the Hockey Gods to respond with a "Yup," before handing out injuries to Brock Boeser and Chris Tanev, the team's most valuable players. Neither injury appears to be long-term, but such events have caused the majority of Canuck fans to join "Team Tank" and started focusing on the Trade Deadline and the 2018 Draft.
31 (29.31)	Arizona Coyotes	-	13-32-10	1-1-1	The only thing we have going this year other than having the best odds for the draft is that we are currently on pace for 19-48-15 record. Whys is that a good thing? It means that we aren’t as bad as the Avalanche last year and seeing how well they are doing this year gives me hope for next year.

Too long to post all. Ill put the rest in comments.
I love social experiments. I spent a great deal of time in college devoted to them; when I wasn’t studying actual hard sciences that would pay the bills one day (boos and hisses from the social “scientists”). That being said, I was stoked to see what reddit had to say about their Tinder experiences after I myself gave it a try. While a lot of people have been having great fun (and quite a bit of luck), my ears have been deafened by the cries of men who cannot seem to find that special lady on a random hook-up app. I had also heard these complaints from a good friend of mine who convinced me to try Tinder in the first place. He had done relatively well; however, he was shocked and dismayed at the success I had in a three day period. Being of similar size and looks (we could be brothers), he could not understand why I had matched nearly 3 times as many girls in a weekend as he had in a month and how I had meet-ups scheduled for every day the following week. He was especially shocked because he is a furious “right-swiper”, where as I very rarely swipe right, but match nearly 90% of the time when I do. He called me the “Tinder Whisperer”. I told him it was science. I now reveal my secrets to you (its mostly common sense):

 1. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 

This is the most important aspect of your entire profile. The objective function. It is the foundation on which you will build. Ask yourself honestly, “what do I expect to get out of this?” For starters, let’s look at the main groups:

 a. Here to hook-up b. Here out of curiosity/just browsing – maybe I’ll chat a bit c. Here to meet people and maybe date d. Here to date e. Marry me now, please f. Oh God! I’m so lonely (sobs loudly) g. Here for ego/validation/attention – will never meet-up h. I’m here to make fun of others and then post their responses on social media 

Decide who you are and BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Even if you are “f”, that’s ok, because there are things you will need to be aware of if you don’t want the ladies to run for the hills screaming. I’m going to start by lumping “a-f” into one category and dismissing “g” and “h”; I leave you to your own devices. Now, if you fall into “a-f” let’s just assume you want to put your best foot forward, right? Even if you are a “b”, there is no reason not to ensure the best experience possible – there is nothing worse than a tepid Tinder profile. So, if you’ve made it this far in the reading, lets plan to make a profile that counts, not just a half-hearted attempt.

 2. STATISITICAL DESCRIMINATION 

Tinder is very simplistic. You get a few photos and you get an optional space for a bio (I’m going to tell you later why most of you should be using this), there’s not a whole lot of depth here. Because a person isn’t given very much information to make a decision on, they are going to make some hard, fast choices based on tens of thousands of calculations derived from their scripting, life experiences and popular culture all from a few pictures (if they even make it past the first one). Tinder is the ultimate “first impression”. First and foremost, let’s be honest, 90% of this decision is based on looks. But, there are some interesting things happening in the 10% - this is where you can send a message, or withhold information or make some quick assumptions. When creating your profile keep 2 things in mind at all times: What is a “deal breaker” for me? And more importantly… What might someone else consider a “deal breaker”? The first question calls for some pretty straightforward actions – Basically, if there is something about yourself, your beliefs or your lifestyle that is absolutely inflexible, make sure to find a way of portraying that. (Examples: You have kids, you are into a very specific lifestyle; ie - you’re a furry or something like that, you are a borderline-militant Vegan) There are two goals here 1. Keep everyone from wasting their time (yours included) 2. Cull the market to find compatible individuals. Everyone makes fun of the girl on Tinder with the really out-there style and the pics of her making bizarre “art” in her basement, but I say God bless her, because she has it figured out – and while you are still desperately trying to cultivate something out of your handful of matches, she has signaled to the 1 other guy on Tinder that is exactly like her. Now, MOST PEOPLE MESS UP on the second idea: “what might someone else consider a deal breaker?” The idea behind your profile is, baring that you don’t fit into the former category, is that you want to cast the widest net possible. You want to send out the least number of signals that could cause an eligible female to discriminate against you. Everyone makes assumptions based on their past experiences and scripting. Think about the message that a single photo sends. Here are some examples:

 Lots of drinking in your photos – immature, alcoholic Photos with Frat bros – immature, alcoholic Photos with inside jokes/ odd situations – weirdo Photos of you wearing anything with “realtree” camo – hick Photos of you with beautiful girls hanging all over you – douchebag 

Now, you may think that “funny” unflattering pictures scan as “hey! This guy has a sense of humor!” Unless you are really, really ridiculously good looking (in which case you can disregard a lot of these rules), it usually just comes across as odd. You may be thinking, “well, I don’t want a girl who doesn’t get my humor”. You know what? Your humor might not come across too well over text and photos. Save it for the first date. That brings up another really important point: SARCASM AND TONGUE IN CHEEK HUMOR DO NOT ALWAYS TRANSLATE WELL OVER TEXT. It is usually best to avoid it until you are face to face with a person. Also, if you are in the “I only am here for hook-ups” category. This doesn’t matter as much. As a matter of fact, the more frat boy, shirtless, doing pushups with girls on your back photos you have the better. Good luck.
SECTION OVERVIEW:

 • MAKE SURE YOU ARE UPFRONT ABOUT BIG DEAL BREAKERS • CAST A WIDE NET. DON’T SEND SIGNALS THAT COULD POTENTIALLY TURN GIRLS AWAY 3. “GIRLS ONLY LIKE GUYS WITH SKILLS.” – NEPOLIAN DYNAMITE 

So, what do you want your profile to say about you?

 • I am very handsome - check. No? Ok, we can still work with this… • I am fun to be with • I am fun to be with • I am fun to be with 

Now, what is fun? That picture of you doing the silly thing with the pool noodle you say – oh how they all laughed that night, you wag! No. We need to be careful not to equate “fun” with Mr. Party Guy and Mr. Funnybone if we can help it. In the 2-3 second we get to make an impression, we need to convey a breadth of skills, experience and interests. The younger you are, the tougher this might be. Do you have a picture of you participating in a race? Volunteering? Playing a sport? Hiking? For the love of God, put them in there! Again, be careful about the message it sends:

a. Picture of you with a few friends after running a half-marathon – perfect. It can appeal to very active people, put it isn’t intimidating enough to isolate non-fit types. b. Picture of you Crossfitting a 200lb log over your head – this may scare off a lot of girls. Sure, you may look like a stud, but it sends some very powerful messages: “he’s only into really fit girls, he’s probably a douchebag, he’s in that weird cult where they all worship some deity named WOD.” 

Just be sure that there are plenty of photos of you doing things besides sitting on a couch with friends. Or having dinner with friends. Or sitting on the porch with friends. Make sure that you send the message that you have depth and experience. A bit of warning – don’t fake it here! Don’t pose in your buddy’s rodeo gear next to a bull if you’ve never even stepped in horse shit before. Girls WILL look at these photos and may draw on them for conversation topics when a dialogue starts. You don’t want to be furiously searching Wikipedia between messages trying to pretend you know what you’re talking about when she calls you out. CONT IN THREAD...

Phoney Phone Calls And Pranks 1:55:25 Phoney Phone Calls And Pranks - Tradio 1:32:02 The Songs Of Booey / Monkey Megamix / BaBa Booey's Greatest Hits 1:38:00 Stern Spotlight: Stuttering John Interviews ('88 - '03) 7:59:12 Fred Norris: The Power Of Drops 47:03 Howard At DC101, Washington D.C. -- March 1981 - June 1982 4:47:01 Howard At WNBC NYC, Part 1 -- August 1982 - September 1985 5:11:40 Howard At WNBC NYC, Part 2 -- August 1982 - September 1985 6:23:08 The Move To Mornings -- Early 1986 37:00 Backward Messages (1986) 10:55 The Cock Hotel (1986) 7:21 Sam Kinison (9-23-86) 44:38 Problems With The FCC & The Anti-Censorship Rally (11-86 - 4-24-87) 28:22 Caught Brown Handed (1-26-87 & 2-9-87) 28:29 George Carlin (2-16-87) 28:45 Messin' With Wrong Number (5-19-87) 10:49 Gary's Teeth & Breath (6-2-87) 16:50 Howard Tries To Buy The Elephant Man's Bones (7-19-87) 6:53 Gilbert Gottfried's Show Debut (8-18-87) 24:33 Dick Gregory (10-28-87) 40:20 Scott The Engineer DJ Tapes (1-4-88) 23:48 Howard Under DEA Investigation (3-10-88) 52:45 Sam Kinison vs. Bobcat Goldthwait (3-17-88) 34:02 Judy Tenuta (5-25-88) 35:38 Gary Takes Howard's Magazines (8-25-88) 10:38 Rae Stern Calls In (8-26-88) 21:29 Two Fingers In Paradise (10-6-88) 8:48 Fred The Elephant Boy Dial-A-Date (12-2-88) 43:50 1988 Christmas Party (12-16-88) 2:14:15 Sam Kinison (2-13-89) 1:48:28 Stuttering John's Problems (5-9-89) 24:13 What's Inside Fred's Bag? (6-2-89) 15:48 Gary's MTV Audition (6-6-89) 15:37 'Gina Man (6-9-89) 30:53 Sam Kinison (6-12-89) 1:22:30 Sam Kinison (10-10-89) 1:54:10 George Carlin (11-10-89) 17:53 San Francisco Earthquake News Update (10-19-89) 19:24 Sam Kinison, Richard Lewis (12-1-89) 1:24:18 Pat Cooper -- All In The Family (8-8-89) 41:58 Richard Belzer, Richard Lewis (1-24-90) 1:23:48 Gary Arrested (1-30-90) 16:38 Richard Lewis (3-2-90) 1:10:26 Sam Kinison, Joe Walsh (4-5-90) 2:20:20 Sam Kinison, Gilbert Gottfried (4-12-90) 1:08:24 Philadelphia Funeral (5-11-90) 1:01:35 Richard Belzer, Gilbert Gottfried (6-29-90) 1:04:44 Howard Names The "Wack Pack" (7-6-90) 9:00 BaBa Booey Is Born (7-26-90) 20:20 Howard vs. Angry Caller (8-6-90) 11:36 The Pope Of Pot (8-16-90) 26:22 The Stern Family Recordings (8-28-90) 28:12 Judy Tenuta (10-12-90) 1:01:53 Howard's Tantrum (10-22-90) 18:32 Andrew Dice Clay (11-20-90) 1:14:05 Stuttering John's Future (2-7-91) 1:09:30 Judy Tenuta (2-13-91) 41:04 Howard Argues With His Mother (4-1-91) 32:28 Gilbert Gottfried As Jerry Seinfeld, Jr. (4-5-91) 37:10 Cookie Puss (5-1-91) 15:10 Gilbert Gottfried Dial-A-Date (6-14-91) 55:55 Sam Kinison, Carol Alt, David Brenner (8-2-91) 1:49:18 Gary Nude Beach (9-3-91) 13:34 Bo Diddley (9-20-91) 46:14 Robert Claims He's Possessed (9-26-91) 17:31 Sam Kinison (9-30-91) 1:17:29 Woman Gets Naked For Plugs (10-2-91) 26:54 Fa Fa Flunky (10-2-91) 19:20 Mental Patient Call, Howard's Vision For America (10-3-91) 21:27 Jessie The Blind Girl Dial-A-Date (10-25-91) 1:44:40 Andrew Dice Clay, Leslie West (12-9-91) 41:09 Chevy Chase Fued ('92 - '08) 1:00:10 Howard vs. Gary (1-9-92) 18:36 Billy West As "Red" (2-2-92) 48:03 Henry Hill (2-21-92) 19:22 Gilbert Gottfried (3-2-92) 55:18 Gary's April Fools Prank (4-1-92) 13:29 Gilbert Gottfried, Dennis Miller (4-1-92) 1:10:20 Sam Kinison, R.I.P. (4-13-92) 1:16:20 Andrew Dice Clay, Frank Stallone (4-22-92) 56:10 Gilbert Gottfried (6-4-92) 1:03:48 Disturbing Videos, KKK Messages (6-25-92) 19:10 Zookeeper's Wife Dial-A-Date (9-14-92) 1:34:30 Howard's System Being Ruined (10-22-92) 16:45 L.A. Funeral (11-24-92) 41:52 Howard Stern's Private Parts -- A Look Back (1993) 47:53 Drawings On Back Wall, Goofing On Booey (3-5-93) 17:47 Robin's Self Portrait (3-5-93) 13:49 Howard Goofs On WCCC Hartford and Southern Rock (3-5-93) 7:00 Brian May (5-6-93) 35:42 Howard vs. Boston Universty (5-10-93) 15:06 Howard Complains About Ratings (5-26-93) 39:54 Gilbert Gottfried (6-22-93) 1:10:20 Howard Goofs On Don Imus, Makes Psychologist Cry (8-3-93) 47:43 Emerson, Lake & Palmer (11-16-93) 33:03 Andrew Dice Clay (11-18-93) 1:11:06 Scott The Engineer's Lung Capacity Test (12-20-93) 28:53 Howard For Governor (1994) 2:26:21 Scott The Engineer Stays Home (2-9-94) 22:47 Goofing On Grillo & Grillo's Lecture (3-18-94) 1:01:16 Gange Screws Up, Goofing On Gary (4-11-94) 23:55 PETA Girls (4-18-94) 28:20 Tiny Tim (5-6-94) 1:07:58 John Amos (5-9-94) 29:53 Marriage And Family Discussion (5-17-94) 33:21 Fred The Elephant Boy And Jolene (5-18-94) 32:12 Madonna's "Sister" Calls In (5-19-94) 35:21 Howard's Nerdy Teen Years (5-24-94) 20:09 Gilbert Gottfried (5-27-94) 1:15:12 Cleveland Funeral (6-10-94) 33:28 OJ Phoney Phone Calls, Reviews Of E! Show (6-20-94) 37:51 Electric Comic Book (6-28-94) 16:55 Female Caller Describes Fantasies (7-20 & 21-94) 1:01:39 Fred's Bachelor Party (7-25-94) 59:20 Gary's Smelly Phone And Brushing Lesson (8-3-94) 8:40 OJ Song Parodies (8-15-94) 22:44 Goofing On Scott The Engineer (8-18-94) 25:43 Gary Puppet Gets Stolen (8-22-94) 58:38 What Does Fred Do? (9-30-94) 22:32 Fred The Elephant Boy vs. Captain Janks (10-20-94) 27:48 Gary At The Learning Annex (10-21-94) 53:10 Gilbert Gottfried (10-21-94) 50:07 Gary Pranks A Guest (10-26-94) 37:13 Gary's Answering Machine (11-14-94) 24:33 Conan O'Brian (11-16-94) 39:32 Pat Cooper Freakout & Fallout (11-22 & 23-94) 1:00:58 George Washington Bridge Jumper (12-7-94 - Early '95) 47:43 Scott The Engineer's Haunted Hair (12-13-94) 13:45 Willie Nelson (12-14-94) 42:10 The Jackie Contest (12-16-94) 39:14 Black Movie Theaters (1-15-95) 27:50 Stories About Fred (1-17-95) 22:41 Howard's Rest Stop (1-26-95) 30:02 Richard Lewis (2-6-95) 33:06 Howard vs. Robin (2-15-95) 28:57 Howard's Trip To Atlantic City (2-21-95) 19:35 Dracula Gottfried (2-23-95) 1:01:39 The Killer's Confession (2-24 & 27-95) 1:03:53 Foot / Food Fetish Girl (3-1 & 2-95) 50:29 Strip Jeopardy (3-3-95) 39:59 Goofing On Scott The Engineer (3-8-95) 26:36 Kenneth Keith Kallenbach's X-Rated Movie (3-16-95) 27:43 Jackie The Salesman (4-3-95) 19:15 The Selena Incident (4-4-95) 38:00 Gary's Sega Channel Screw Up (4-18-95) 30:43 Howard Finds A Body In The Woods (4-21-95) 18:31 Howard Says Don't Edit My Show! (6- 7-9 -95) 1:23:40 Clarence Clemons (6-16-95 & 7-26-95) 1:27:07 Howard's Cyber-Sex Girlfriend (6-20-95) 33:53 John K. vs. Billy West (6-21-95) 48:59 Croix (6-23-95) 22:03 Nutless Patsy (6-29-95) 25:17 NHL Player Claude Lemieux And The Stanley Cup (6-27 & 28-95) 38:13 Summer Camp & Sex Stories (7-18-95) 24:14 The Bones Of Debbie "The Space Alien" Tay (7-19-95) 40:53 Midget In A Trunk (7-21-95) 36:46 Vietnam Stories (7-25-95) 32:40 Howard Visits Jackie's House (5-30-95) 21:56 Cyndi Lauper (8-2-95) 38:56 Weekend At OJ's (8-3-95) 40:00 Jerry Garcia, R.I.P. (8-10-95) 1:14:27 More Stern Family Recordings (8-14-95) 26:53 Jim Bakker's Prison Lover (8-17-95) 25:47 Scott The Engineer & Gary Report To Robin (8-17-95) 27:55 Howard Hates Mancow (8-22-95) 1:08:12 Gilbert Gottfried (8-22-95) 37:10 Striper Who Claims To Look Like Pamela Anderson (8-28-95) 29:44 Tony And Tina's Wedding (8-30-95) 1:00:32 Fake Suicide Caller (9-13-95) 20:11 Jillian And Elephant Boy's Date (9-18-95) 38:58 Jackie's Web Page (9-21-95) 20:35 Guess Who's The Criminal (9-26-95) 55:52 Stuttering John's Practical Joke Backfires (9-27-95) 12:57 OJ Verdict Discussions (10-5-95) 38:35 Robin vs. Suttering John, Howard vs. Ralph (10-10-95) 43:15 Chuck Negron (10-11-95) 53:09 It Doesn't Matta! Caller (10-16-95) 21:38 The Reverend Howard Stern (10-18-95) 54:18 Gilbert Gottfried (10-20-95) 57:22 Music Fight (10-30-95) 30:52 Miss America Book Fight (11-8-95) 57:40 Robin In San Francisco (11-28-95) 7:25 Plugs For Hotel Rooms (1-11-96) 31:46 Howard's $5,000 Sex Machine (1-15-96) 48:01 Caviar And Howard's Weight (1-18-96) 26:40 Goofing On Soupy Sales (1-22-96) 18:57 Ozzy Osbourne (1-29-96) 40:07 Joey & Marky Ramone (2-8-96) 48:24 Howard Yells At Gary And Stuttering John (2-9-96) 21:19 Jasmine St. Claire & Annabelle Chong (3-4-96) 56:15 Eating Jackie's Marshmallow For A Date (3-8 & 11-96) 58:33 William Shatner Enters ''The Homo Room'' (4-2-96) 28:13 James The Unfunny, Smelly Intern (4-17-96) 46:55 The Rainbow Room Incident (4-23 & 24-96) 43:20 Wedding RSVP Prank (4-23-96) 13:41 Ham Hands Bill (5-8-96) 20:17 Howard Pranks Wannabe Porn Star (5-15-96) 17:27 Scott The Engineer: Sad Sack (5-15-96) 25:45 Stuttering John Scams Grillo (5-16-96) 47:51 Rabbi Gottfried (5-21-96) 53:19 Jenna Jameson And Her Father (6-3-96) 25:21 Incest Wednesday (6-5-96) 50:09 Tiny Tim (7-2-96) 50:48 Crackhead Bob Dame Dat Dune (7-24-96) 32:57 Riley Martin's First Call (7-24-96) 15:18 Riley Martin's First Time In Studio (7-31-96) 36:10 Tribute Bands (8-8-96) 34:08 Mira Seagal (8-15-96) 37:52 Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf's First Time On Show (8-16-96) 34:48 Henry Hill (8-22-96) 33:35 Sniffing The Playmates (10-9-96) 25:59 Amy Lynn & Tempest (10-23-96) 44:57 Monica The Mexican (11-1-96) 51:40 Yankee Parade Game (11-6-96) 27:17 Smokin' Joe Fraizer (11-13-96) 42:00 Robin vs. Fred (11-14-96) 23:41 Ralph's Lie Detector Test (11-27-96) 56:48 Nico Treasures (12-3-96) 52:52 Fred The Elephant Boy's Past (1-10-97) 47:53 The Jesus Twins (1-27-97) 29:30 Rodney Dangerfield (1-30-97) 45:54 Robin Pissed At Dominic Barbara (3-28-97) 15:36 Janine Lindemulder And The Arousal Machine (4-18-97) 1:20:53 Frank Gifford / Suzen Johnson Transcripts (6-11-97) 49:07 The Topless Sun Bather Across The Street (6-11-97) 15:58 Woman Calls In From Bathtub (6-26-97) 23:52 Stuttering John's Wedding Stories (7-14-97) 29:44 Stacy Sings For Howard (7-21-97) 1:14:52 Crazy Alice First Call (7-30-97) 12:08 BaBa Booey Candy Revelation (8-4-97) 20:51 Flip Wilson (8-14-97) 33:23 High Pitch Eric's First Time On Show (8-15-97) 31:08 Crackhead Bob At Graceland (9-9-97) 22:41 Scott The Engineer's Walk Of Shame (10-7-97) 47:58 Crazy Alice In Studio (10-7-97) 19:54 Scared Caller (10-17-97) 21:15 Gilbert Gottfried (10-22-97) 1:27:17 Captain Janks, Keneth Keith Kalenbach, Crackhead Bob (10-28-97) 24:40 Homeless Game (10-30-97) 17:40 How Many Push-Ups Can Scott The Engineer Do? (11-97 - 1-98) 1:32:12 Dr. Remulak (11-14-97) 5:00 Wack Pack Hypnosis (12-10-97) 36:28 Ralph At Star Trek Convention (2-24-98) 15:45 Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf Karaoke, Nicolette Gets Evaluated(3-4-98) 49:56 Stephanie Gets Evaluated (4-1-98) 34:15 Carol Alt (4-30-98) 37:54 Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf: People's Most Beautiful (5-8-98) 14:37 Gary The Retard Goes To Scores (5-27-98) 6:19 Ringo Starr (6-17-98) 38:50 Gilbert Gottfried (6-18-98) 53:25 Homeless Game (7-22-98) 21:09 Brian Wilson (7-24-98) 35:14 Jackie's Three Crummy Houses (7-30-98) 33:38 Intern Interviews Richard Simmons (7-31-98) 16:39 Measurements With Houston (8-10-98) 29:43 Howard Yells At Religious Freak (8-20-98) 12:42 The Homeless Game (8-20-98) 33:13 Gary The Retard Knowledge Question Game (8-27-98) 20:41 Handicapped Star Search (8-27-98) 24:05 Howard Plays Twister With Jasmine St. Claire (8-13-98) 42:21 Goo Goo Dolls Gay Dance Party (9-23-98) 32:42 The Orgasm Contest (10-8-98) 14:48 Wack Pack Halloween (10-30-98) 49:20 Smokin' Joe Frazier (11-6-98) 29:50 Homeless Game (11-9-98) 33:20 Houston Dial-A-Date (12-4 & 7-98) 54:14 Christi Lake Dial-A-Date (1-14 & 15-99) 1:02:07 James Brown (1-26-99) 37:58 Howard's Gay Dream (2-03-99) 14:52 Hollyweird Squares (2-23-99) 46:16 The Gang Bang Summit (3-3-99) 33:53 Kennedy Assassination Evidence (3-9-99) 29:35 KC's Lie Detector Test (3-11-99) 57:44 Howard's Sex Slave Solitaire (4-27-99) 17:57 The Saga Of Houston & Brad (5-99 - 1-01) 1:38:34 Midget Wrestles Playmate (5-5-99) 54:18 Mob Rat Anthony Fiato (5-10-99) 33:09 Barbed Wire Accident (5-14-99) 10:15 Does Jackie Enjoy Being Angry? (5-18-99) 45:53 Stripper Game (6-7-99) 30:53 The Babapology Tape (6-17 & 18-99) 1:21:27 The Freaky Feud (6-23-99) 42:34 The Debut Of Beetlejuice (7-14-99) 19:10 Angry Teacher Call (7-15-99) 32:00 Joey & Marky Ramone (7-20-99) 26:54 Beetlejuice Reads Lines (7-28-99) 7:40 Benjy's Behavior At Scores (8-2-99) 18:58 Triplet Dial-A-Date (8-18-99) 55:30 The Yankee Game Freak Show (8-30-99) 35:04 KC Can't Get It Up (9-2-99) 21:05 Gary Craps His Pants (9-21-99) 7:52 Gary Reads To Children (10-11-99) 11:13 Drunken Jackie Stories (10-18-99) 29:07 Wack Pack Carrots (10-20-99) 54:09 Bridy Brings Howard A Gift (11-18-99) 54:33 Wack Pack Politically Incorrect (11-19-99) 38:19 Beetlejuice Accepts Howard's AVN Award (1-10-00) 26:48 Who Wants To Be A Sex Millionare? (2-7 & 8-00) 1:42:33 Erica The Gymnast Saga (1-28 - 2-7-00 & 12-1-00) 1:57:21 Johnny "Mud" Mudman (2-28-00) 26:29 Crystal Meth Brothers (3-1-00) 16:18 Gary's Throat Clearing (3-3-00) 13:06 Who Wants To Be A Sex Billionare? (3-6 & 7-00) 53:33 Gary's Teeth (3-8-00) 15:26 Houston's Rubdown (3-16-00) 41:08 Hank The Dwarf vs. Beetlejuice (3-17-00) 37:18 Michelle The Teacher (4-4-00) 30:55 Gary Screws Up Movie Plans (4-7-00) 16:25 Homeless Jeopardy (4-10-00) 39:50 Dopey Strippers (4-13-00) 27:53 Howard vs. Gary: Who's The Better Sports Jock? (5-10-00) 9:26 Dynamite And The Wack Pack (5-22-00) 33:04 KC Asks ''Does A Horse Know It Won The Race?'' (5-30-00) 6:14 Eagle Scout (6-14-00) 23:30 Peter, Angel Of Death (6-22-00) 34:26 Crazy Alice Meets High Pitch Eric (6-22-00) 29:20 KC At Gay Pride Parade (6-26-00) 17:13 Elegant Elliot Offen First Time In Studio (7-25-00) 20:57 Beetlejuice For Senator (8-4-00) 20:03 Elegant Elliot Offen (8-14-00) 29:07 Backstage At The MTV Video Music Awards (9-8-00) 43:05 Stuttering John Live From The Miracle House (9-27-00) 59:55 Sgt. Beetlejuice (10-26-00) 22:30 Porn-O-Ween Contest (10-31-00) 35:32 Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf And David Blaine (11-29-00) 27:35 Win Fred's Money w/ Pete (12-13-00) 21:38 Elegant Elliot Offen (1-16-01) 36:40 Testosterone Test And Results (1-25-01 & 11-11-01) 30:59 Beetlejuice vs. Gary The Retard - Battle Of Wits (1-26-01) 31:55 Nutty Ruby (2-15-01) 13:27 Fred Gets Hypnotized (3-13-01) 41:26 Beetlejuice, Celebrity Q Ratings (3-14-01) 41:21 KC And High Pitch Eric's NCAA Final Four Trip (4-1 & 2-01) 52:10 Beetlejuice Sits In On The News (4-6-01) 52:19 Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf, Crackhead Bob, Nicole The Nude Painter / Is Carly A Star? (4-19-01) 51:14 Beetlejuice Meets Camille (5-1-01) 40:19 Howard's Clog (6-6-01) 20:16 Sarah Silverman (6-15-01) 30:03 Beetlejuice vs. Johnny T-Bone (6-27-01) 18:27 AJ Benza Punches Stuttering John (7-24-01) 1:37:21 Billy Meets Beetlejuice (8-1-01) 24:48 Gary Busey (8-2-01) 36:02 Gilbert Gottfried, Richard Jeni (8-14-01) 1:17:05 Beetlejuice, Arden Myrin (8-22-01) 35:56 Bangin' w/ Beetlejuice (8-23-01) 1:01:03 World Trade Center Coverage (9-11-01) 1:43:38 Beetlejuice As Uncle Sam (9-19-01) 22:59 Paul McCartney (10-18-01) 51:21 Beetlejuice The Idiot Savant (10-25-01) 30:50 High Pitch Eric vs. The Fish (12-4-01) 22:23 Two Women Make Out With Beetlejuice For Prizes (12-6-01) 22:48 Yaqi The Tickler (1-25-02) 53:14 Riley Martin Sells Tickets To The Mothership (2-12-02) 15:38 Elegant Elliott Offen And His Girlfriend (2-15-02) 27:23 Beetlejuice The Prisoner (3-8-02) 24:55 Raymond Norman - The Oprah Guy (3-28-02) 23:01 Weakest Dink (3-28-02) 36:38 Donna Talks To The Animals (4-22-02) 27:47 Henry Hill (5-3-02) 47:47 Plane To L.A. (6-7-02) 11:03 Katia Corriveau (6-7-02) 33:39 Staff Confessions Game (6-21-02) 56:49 Rhode Island Station IDs (8-9-02) 11:42 Eric The Midget's First Call (9-19-02) 7:30 It's Just Wrong: Brother / Sister (9-25-02) 58:25 Tom Fights His Suit (9-26-02) 18:09 Howard Drunk At Party (10-7-02) 21:04 It's Just Wrong: Father / Daughter (10-18-02) 39:18 Wack Packers Sit In On The News (11-7-02) 15:42 Beetlejuice To Sleep On Billboard (11-18-02) 28:21 Artie vs. High Pitch Eric - Treadmill Challenge (11-18-02) 28:46 Stump The Booey w/ Mike And Michelle (12-20-02) 26:43 Various Calls From Hateman (2003) 28:51 Stump The Booey w/ James And Jen (1-16-03) 36:13 Evil KaBeetlejuice, The Tattoo Bros. (1-23-03) 28:32 Stump The Booey w/ Carl And Allison (2-3-03) 25:05 The Ultimate PPV Event Ever? (3-03) 2:48:42 The New And Improved Jeff The Drunk (5-16-03) 29:37 Artie And Stuttering John's Comedy Weekend (5-19-03) 51:08 Real Or Fake w/ Rita G (5-27-03) 31:43 Speaking Italian (7-5-03) 14:00 Robin And Gary's Trip To Amsterdam (7-21-03) 15:36 Stump The Booey w/ Lee And Lisa (7-30-03) 14:31 Robin Has Accident (9-4-03) 7:38 Eric The Midget: Nothing To Say (9-11-03) 5:37 Vinnie Favalie Love Tapes (10-14-03) 38:44 Stuck On Jeff The Drunk (12-10-03) 24:23 Wheel Of Beetlejuice (12-18-03) 23:10 Howard vs. Ronnie (1-13 & 14-04) 48:22 Wack Pack Jury (2-2-04) 31:05 Artie's Arrests Stories (1-9-04) 15:53 Eric The Midget Wants To Give A Speech (3-18-04) 6:00 Win Fred's Money w/ Over Confident Jarrett (3-19-04) 24:29 Riley Martin Voicemail (3-23-04) 11:08 Chris Rock (4-15-04) 44:39 Jeff The Drunk And Cindy (5-17-04) 12:31 Beetlejuice's Family (5-19-04) 26:16 Eric The Midget: Movie Star? (6-8-04) 14:22 Artie's Pig Suit Story (6-15-04) 14:30 Eric The Midget: Night Of The Midget (6-22-04) 11:28 Benjy Screams For Peace (7-23-04) 25:44 Party In Pamela Anderson's Hotel Room (8-4-04) 2:01:56 KC Wins $300K (8-18-04) 32:45 Beetlejuice And KC Going On A Trip (8-19-04) 30:42 Aurora Snow (8-24-04) 34:26 Acting Out Scenes w/ Wack Packers (12-3-04) 45:55 Howard Goes To Dinner With Richard And Sal (1-4-05) 9:28 BaBa Battleship (1-5-05) 26:20 Eric The Midget: American Dreams Rehearsal (1-24-05) 20:04 Artie Calls In Sick (1-31 & 2-1-05) 12:46 Is Wendy The Retard A Racist? (2-3-05) 15:39 Caller Wants To Nail Hot Female Friend (2-4-05) 23:22 Ash Wednesday Stories (2-14-05) 10:34 Beetlejuice The Heavyweight Champion (2-16-05) 22:30 Eric The Midget: Entertainment Reporter (3-9-05) 8:45 Pat O'Brian Voicemail Saga (4-4 & 5-05, 5-5-05, 1-9-06) 1:26:24 Win Fred's Money w/ Steve And Shayna (4-11-05) 25:29 Sal's Odd Request (4-14-05) 48:09 Sal Caught Red Handed (4-21-05) 14:13 Eric The Midget: Messin' With Eric (5-3-05) 11:18 Beetlejuice Meets Gilbert Gottfried (5-5-05) 10:00 Weakest Dink (6-7-05) 32:52 Willie Nelson (8-17-05) 32:04 Sal Sleeps At Richard's Apartment (9-12-05) 14:22 Elephant Boy's Mess (9-12-05) 30:50 Stevie Wonder (10-20-05) 1:04:40 Artie's Hooker Love Story (10-21-05) 25:24 Beetlejuice (10-28-05) 13:48 Eric The Midget: No Phone Sex (11-15-05) 15:39 Fake Arnold Pranks George Takei (1-10-06) 15:44 Artie's Staff Revelation (1-17-06) 14:21 Rachel Hunter Bails On Interview (1-18-06) 16:47 Let's F Some Whores! (1-18-06) 12:01 The Reverend Bob Levy Celebrity Roast (1-27-06) 1:01:49 Jenna Jameson, P. Diddy (2-1-06) 54:02 JD And Kissyphur (2-2-06) 24:01 Kendra Jade (2-7-06) 36:00 Fred The Elephant Boy Sex Stories (2-8-06) 37:34 Eric The Midget: Radio Show Host (2-13-06) 14:47 Richard Gets Waxed (2-13-06) 45:55 Misty The Wacky Prostitute (2-21-06) 43:06 Eric The Midget Calls In: American Idol, What Does Eric Do All Day? (2-24-06) 22:19 Operation Tissue Retrieval (2-28-06) 25:05 Elegant Elliot Offen Goes Crazy! (3-2-06) 15:24 Gilbert Gottfried, Red Peters (3-1-06) 53:08 Artie's Dirty Cop Stories (3-8-06) 30:59 Elegant Elliot Offen Goes Crazy...Again! (3-10-06) 9:12 Richard Streaks Through The Cosmo Channel Party (3-14-06) 41:36 Beetlejuice (3-21-06) 29:11 Artie Reenacting Godfather Scenes, Drug Stories (3-22-06) 27:00 Mike Walker Accident (3-24-06) 12:47 Porn Stars Demonstrate Wild Sex Machines (3-28-06) 1:05:25 Bobby Badfingers (4-05-06) 20:52 Sal And Gary's Weekend With Beetlejuice (4-18-06) 37:38 Crystal Clear (4-21-06) 1:02:38 Beetlejuice, Jodie Moore (5-2-06) 43:21 Crazy Alice Calls In (5-2-06) 27:48 Eric The Midget Measures Himself (5-22-06) 11:27 Riley Martin's Salary Problems (5-24-06) 30:32 Sal The Stockbroker Apology (5-26-06) 55:50 Eric The Midget's Parents (6-5-06) 25:04 The Roast Of Artie Lange (6-8-06) 3:23:36 Artie vs. Crazy Alice (6-15-06) 24:05 High Pitch Mike Goes To Disney Land Alone (6-25-06) 38:52 Cheap Trick (6-26-06) 34:08 Eric The Midget: Will Eric Fly With Balloons? (6-27-06) 37:29 Artie vs. Andrew Dice Clay And The Missing $5,000 (7-18-06) 1:12:48 Jeff The Drunk Wants A Job (7-31-06) 22:04 The Next Wack Packer: Bigfoot (8-3-06) 44:37 Joe Walsh And The James Gang (8-21-06) 40:09 Beetlejuice (8-22-06) 34:42 Sal's Adventures In The Booths (9-6-06) 9:24 Artie vs. Crazy Alice (9-14-06) 10:29 Artie vs. Crazy Alice (9-21-06) 13:03 Gilbert Gottfried (9-27-06) 1:26:43 Artie vs. Crazy Alice (9-28-06) 13:05 Beetlejuice Meets Mr. T (10-3-06) 59:18 Playboy Evaluations (10-18-06) 1:07:26 The Roast Of BaBa Booey (10-26-06) 2:04:10 Tracy Morgan (11-1-06) 1:01:00 Gary's Mac-Hine Mistake (11-7 & 8-06) 13:33 The Artie Lange Dating Game (11-9-06) 1:02:37 Opening And Shredding Christmas Gifts (12-14-06) 28:08 Various Calls From Hateman (2007) 19:59 Bubba's Wedding Stories (1-16-07) 40:20 Gilbert Gottfried (1-10-07) 57:29 J.D.'s Miserable Life (1-17-07) 30:00 Porn Stars vs. Slow Adults (2-7-07) 45:45 Eric The Midget Orders A Hit (3-12-07) 27:38 Chris Rock (3-14-07) 1:06:56 Sal's Wife Shoots Him With Paintballs (3-22-07) 40:07 Richard Simmons (4-10-07) 41:32 Gary's Sound & Vision (4-18-07) 13:18 Eric The Midget Calls In: Eric Loves Porn (4-24-07) 23:27 Eric The Midget: No Gay Porn! (4-30-07) 36:22 Gary's Dinner Party (5-1-07) 35:21 Win Fred's Money w/ Jennifer (5-10-07) 29:12 Howard vs. Ronnie: The Petcock Problem (5-21-07) 47:20 Eric The Midget And Brandy Talore (5-22-07) 24:09 The Bro Fight (5-24-07) 1:00:57 Chris Cornell (6-12-07) 53:44 Darth Nihilus & Howard Fest (6-13-07) 22:34 Grillo vs. Tracy (6-14 & 21-07) 29:35 Howard's Weekend With His Parents (6-18-07) 31:40 Goofing On JD, Arm Wrestling (6-28-07) 27:27 Riley Martin (7-17-07) 58:19 Tracy Morgan (8-2-07) 53:11 Sal Takes A Citizenship Test (8-22-07) 25:46 Ping Pong: Miss Amputee vs. Crackhead Bob (8-23-07) 41:03 Howard At Bon Jovi's Party & Weekend In Hamptons (9-4-07) 57:46 Sarah Silverman Smells Richard (10-07) 58:48 Win Fred's Money w/ James The Collage Professor (10-2-07) 32:09 Gilbert Gottfried (10-23-07) 42:51 Eric The Midget Reads Dougie The Puggie (10-24-07) 18:20 Richard's Life On The Farm (10-31-07) 24:10 Beetlejuice Spelling Contest w/ Bob Levy (10-31-07) 27:43 Artie vs. Sal And Richard (10-29 - 11-6-07) 1:55:05 Grandma Caprio (11-3-07) 28:45 Ass Napkin (Paranoid Schizophrenic) Ed Visits (11-8-07) 30:00 Ronnie & Scott The Engineer's Prank Goes Wrong (11-11-07) 32:00 Eric The Midget: Movie Ideas (11-14-07) 20:03 Artie "Comes Out" To George Takei (12-5-07) 42:52 Various Calls From Hateman (2008) 19:36 Gary's Braces (1-14-15 & 22-08) 33:51 AVN Awards (1-15-08) 29:33 Gary Bored In Vegas & Sal's Night Out (2-4-08) 46:18 Chimpanzee Attack Discussions (2-23-09) 27:28 Eric The Midget: Internet Press Confernece (2-27-08) 18:38 Beetlejuice: Stories From The Road (2-27-08) 27:13 Uncle Mike The Murderer (3-4-08) 40:49 Ray Stern Redecorates (3-6-08) 15:50 Amy Fisher Walks Out (3-6-08) 26:13 Eric The Midget Modeling Agency (3-19-08) 18:04 Sal's Backside Problems (3-25-08) 8:40 Beetlejuice vs. Iron Sheik (4-30-08) 36:17 Richard's Concert Problem (5-5-08) 19:11 Jon Hein: The Blow Job King (5-7 & 8-08) 55:53 Gary's Stink Breath (5-20-08) 18:40 Gary Eats Last (6-5-08) 5:26 Eric The Midget: Derek From Texas (6-12-08) 12:21 Kool The Candy Wrapper (6-16-08) 27:57 Wolfie Observes Gary (6-19-08) 14:25 Eric The Midget: Zero Point Zero (6-26-08) 11:50 Artie And Gary's Trip To Afghanistan (7-14-08) 1:48:14 Baba Booey Song Parody Contest (7-30-08) 52:54 Wack Pack Waxing With Fred The Elephant Boy (8-12-08) 39:59 Mayday! Mayday! (8-20-08) 6:24 Ronnie At The Exotic Dancer Awards (9-8-08) 40:47 Chris Rock (9-24-08) 57:46 Eric The Midget Real Doll (9-25-08) 19:23 Eric The Midget Gets Lucky (10-14-08) 28:06 Sour Shoes Prank Calls (10-14-08) 9:13 Cheech And Chong (10-20-08) 51:38 Ronnie's Mambo (10-30-08) 12:44 Eric The Midget In Studio (11-3-08) 50:38 Gina Lynn (11-5-08) 37:50 Beetlejuice, Meggan Mallone (12-3-08) 34:52 Hottest Funniest Chick Contest (12-9-08) 57:15 Various Calls From Hateman (2009) 22:37 Sal's Stories About His Dad (1-7-09) 14:00 Jim Beruer (1-13-09) 50:36 Goofing On Amy Fisher Video (1-19-09) 10:25 Stump The Booey w/ Chuckles And Jenna (1-21-09) 22:10 The Odd World Of Sal (1-26-09) 23:56 Gary's Home Theater (1-29-09) 31:58 Beetlejuice Argues w/ Artie (2-5-09) 17:36 Eric The Midget Is Club Fucking Footed! (3-2-09) 7:09 Jim Breuer (4-8-09) 1:02:53 High Pitch Eric Harassment (4-29-09) 48:30 Gary's Shitty Pitch (5-11-09) 1:15:33 Gilbert Gottfried (6-2-09) 1:25:43 Spiderman: The Musical (6-15-09) 20:15 Bang My Dad Contest (6-16 & 17-09) 1:04:17 Howard's Ba Mitzvah (6-25-09) 23:05 Howard The Sucker (10-8-09) 30:33 Purple Medicated Rain (10-20-09) 23:42 Beetlejuice And Porn Stars (10-28-09) 37:20 Richard's Swollen Feet (11-30-09) 16:57 Win Fred's Money w/ Doug The Genius (12-1-09) 20:42 Mishandling The Mail (12-7-09) 20:18 Saddest Virgin Contest (12-10-09) 50:55 Gary vs. Yuko The Clown (1-20-10) 20:55 The Cookie / Cupcake Fight (2-11-10) 42:55 Tracy Morgan, Riley Steele (2-25-10) 1:05:43 Eric The Midget: Human Calculator (4-12-10) 18:17 Little Lupe (4-15-10) 31:32 Gary vs. Tracy (4-17-10) 1:07:15 Eric The Midget: Wack Packer? (4-21-10) 31:48 Ben And Rae At The Yogurt Shop (5-10-10) 7:18 Howard Goofs On Will Smith (5-20-10) 15:20 Gary Dozes Off During The Show (6-10) 47:21 IQ Test Results (7-29-10) 1:08:08 Jim Breuer (9-29-10) 1:04:30 Howard Reminisces About His Childhood (11-03-10) 9:57 Billy Joel (11-16-10) 1:29:49 Ozzy Osbourne (11-30-10) 57:09 Howard's "Major" Announcment (12-9-10) 18:12 Little Lupe (12-15-10) 44:09 Beetlejuice (Wearing Green Bay Packers Jersey) Visits (2-8-11) 35:05 Gilbert Gottfried (4-26-11) 52:17 Benjy At The Anthony Weiner Press Conference (6-7-11) 30:13 Ben And Rae Stern (6-22-11) 45:02 Ronnie's Winter Poem (12-1-11) 8:59 Eric The Midget: No Werewolves Please! (12-8-11) 38:16 Beetlejuice Meets Santa Sal (12-13-11) 33:15 Riley Martin (1-4-12) 46:35 Roger Waters (1-18-12) 57:22 John's Direct Connection (1-30-12) 36:45 Ronnie vs. The Ugly App (4-23-12) 43:32 Jim Breuer (6-25-12) 42:22 Sharon Plays Bigfoot Game (7-6-12) 34:34 Timgate (7-23 & 24-12) 44:05 Sour Shoes (9-25-12) 1:05:50 Sal vs. Leiberman Rap Battle (10-23-12) 57:01 Hurricane Sandy Contingency Plans (10-29-12) 43:47 Annoying Howard Game (11-13-12) 54:38 Staff Handwriting Analysis (12-03-12) 16:47 End Of The World Prank (1-2-13) 40:19 Jon And Gary's TV Show (2-27-13) 9:33 Pope BeetleJuice Visits (3-13-13) 25:48 Louis CK (4-3-13) 1:23:59 Eric The Midget: Mad At Twitter (5-14-13) 9:47 ZZ Top (5-14-13) 50:57 The Odd World Of Sal...Again... (6-24-13) 36:53 Jerry Seinfeld (6-26-13) 1:31:31 Andrew Dice Clay (7-22-13) 1:13:23 Graham Nash (10-1-13) 58:30 Eric The Midget vs. Jeff The Drunk (10-8-13) 33:51 Paul McCartney (10-8-13) 49:08 Sal's Wacky Writing Meeting Pitch And Beauty Regimen (10-14-13) 41:02 Sal's Grammar (10-22-13) 12:55 Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony (10-28-13) 1:13:39 Sal Gets Hypnotized (11-19-13) 32:43 Donovan (2-5-14) 1:21:00 Louis CK (5-5-14) 52:08 Willie Nelson (6-10-14) 55:54 Bigfoot (8-19-14) 45:02 Eric The Midget, R.I.P. (9-22-14) 1:32:25 Sarah Silverman (9-23-14) 57:43 John Mellencamp (9-24-14) 1:12:32 Smokey Robinson (9-30-14) 52:53 Joe Perry (10-6-14) 1:18:49 Bill Murray (10-8-14) 1:10:23 Neil Young (10-14-14) 1:33:08 Amy Poehler (10-27-14) 1:24:23 Martin Short (11-5-14) 1:06:05 Bill Cosby Discussions (11-17-14) 20:29 The Foo Fighters (12-3-14) 1:12:00 Chris Rock (12-8-14) 1:09:22 Christmas Party Stories (1-5-15) 30:53 Hall & Oates (2-18-15) 54:00 Larry David (1-7-15) 1:22:00 Are You A Wack Packer? (2-24 & 25-15) 1:29:26 Conan O'Brian (2-25-15) 1:19:55 Ronnie's Sex Tips (3-16-15) 15:01 James Taylor (5-12-15) 2:07:43 Ronnie And Sal Hypnotized (5-13-15) 38:11 Roger Daltrey (5-15-15) 53:51 Jeff The Drunk (6-15 - 9-15) 1:24:21 John Fogerty (10-7-15) 1:25:20 Elvis Costello (10-19-15) 1:13:00 JD Never Washes His Sheets (11-15) 36:34 Sal On Terrorists (11-16-15) 12:21 Tina Fey (12-14-15) 1:01:54 Goofing On Scott The Engineer / Bailey The Bed Bug? (1-6-16) 36:07 High Pitch Eric vs. Fred The Elephant Boy (1- 25-27 -16) 1:48:45 Beer Fest, The Odd World Of Sal: Pt. 3 (1-26-16) 1:17:00 A Visit w/ Beetlejuice & Aftermath Of His Visit (2-22 & 23-16) 1:22:48 Tina Fey (3-1-16) 59:38 Peter Frampton (3-2-16) 1:35:14 Cheap Trick (4-6-16) 56:52 Nicole Bass The Stripper (5-2-16) 58:28 Steve Miller (5-31-16) 1:34:21 Wolfie Observes JD (6-15-16) 42:32 The Good, The Bad And All Kinds Of Porn (6-20-16) 36:30 Hit 'Em With The Hein! (7-20-16) 31:18 Eric Andre (8-9-16) 1:13:17 Tracy Morgan (8-16-16) 1:20:18 Richard And Sal Play Bongos (8-23-16) 17:29 Ronnie's Twitter Feed (8-24-16) 54:21 Ronnie's Party (9-12-16) 1:02:38 Norm Macdonald (9-19-16) 1:46:11 Metallica (9-26-16) 1:16:28 Benji Fucks Up And Is Late... Again (10-26-16) 1:01:40 Richard And Sal: In The Closet? (11-1-16) 1:07:38 Dana Carvey (11-2-16) 1:49:11 Sting (11-8-16) 1:18:56 Lenny Dykstra (11-28-16) 1:06:28 Jeff The Drunk (11-30-16) 41:13 Richard And Sal Lie Detector Test (12-5-16) 1:29:02 Ronnie's Sex Stories (12-6-16) 1:00:13 Bobo's Essay (12-13 & 14-16) 1:52:39 Ronnie Hypnotized (1-11-17) 1:19:15 Sal's Out Of Body Experience (1-18-17) 18:51 Staff Sex Stories (1-24-17) 43:52 Memet vs. Everyone (3-8-17) 55:21 Gary vs. Shuli (3-15-17) 40:00 Who Would Howard Go To Dinner With? (3-28-17) 33:18 The Odd World Of Sal: Part 4 (3-29-17) 59:11 JD's Twitter & Wedding (4-5-17) 59:43 Richard And His Dad (5-9-17) 38:54 Embedded w/ Bigfoot (5-23-17) 30:29 Goofing On Scott The Engineer / Scott Doesn't Pay (5-24-17) 54:19 Richard Has Accident (6-6 & 7-17) 32:00 Jimmy Iovine (6-26-17) 1:24:28 Steve From Florida's Walk Of Shame (6-28-17) 1:07:26 David Letterman (8-16-17) 1:34:20 Ronnie The Actor (8-16-17) 52:17 Jerry Seinfeld (9-25-17) 1:47:12 Ronnie The Woman? (9-27-17) 1:02:07 Sarah Silverman (10-2-17) 1:10:35 Robert Plant (10-17-17) 1:22:55

In order to gain experience of development in Meteor rapidly, I'm building two open source projects related to gambling. The first one will do what the title says. I have a plan mapped out for it and I've done more than 30% of the work. But I need to hear other people out: what checks do you want for your bets? I'm talking about the type of checks that would disconsider a bet in your eyes; I know from my own experience that sometimes it's hard to let go of them. But when you want to bet and the app will tell you "no" and offer valid reasons, maybe you'll actually listen. Here’s an example with the two most basic checks I can think about:

• First thing, to get it out of the way and not have the user influenced by the subsequent tasks, ask for a percentage based probability on how often will the event occur. For example: do you want to bet that Real Madrid will win instead of drawing or losing in their next match? How often do you think that would happen? 85%. OK, let’s go to step 2.
• Input the odds, calculate the bookmaker margin, compare it with the averages for that event and so on. The checks will get more complicated as it goes on. I have a certain flow in mind.

The interface is beautiful and it allows for events with any number of outcomes and odds expressed in these formats: fractional, decimal and moneyline. For this reason it will also be helpful to people that bet on things like 1x2 and horse races, not just for handicappers.
TLDR: The online app is a checklist to go through before betting, in order to determine if the bet is indeed good. What checks do you want? What can you think of?

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-01-21
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post

Questions	Answers
1) I saw some girl with Alice tattoos. Isn't that grand? I would like to make people stain their body with my ideas at some point.	It's weird. Someone once sent me a porno clip (I swear!) where the actress had tattooed the Cheshire Cat's face/mouth around her ... naughty bits. It was awful. After that, I never wanted to see another Alice-inspired tattoo. Or naughty bits.
2) What was the deal with Marilyn Manson's Alice involvement? I've heard a lot of things on the internet but internet things are unreliable.	He was involved, then he wasn't. They (Manson/NIN people) are a mercurial bunch. Never figured out what the real motivation for the sudden departure was. But we did get a couple of really beautiful tracks out of it - sadly, I'm legally forbidden from releasing them. So I listen to them by myself and smile.
3) Regarding Bad Day LA, after reading this: Link to www.americanmcgee.com I was wondering if you had advice for people who are in a similar position of not wanting a potentially bad game to define them.	Wow. That is a LONG post. I forgot I even wrote that. Advice for avoiding that? Not sure what I wrote in that post, but honestly, if you gave me the chance to avoid it today... I wouldn't. If I had not been involved with that game I never would have moved to Hong Kong or China and the last 8 years of my life would have been a lot more mundane.
4) I kind of thought the mad-hatter level in Alice seemed distinctly different from the rest of the game, a bit more horrific what with the little mangled kids. Any reason for that?	You'd have to ask Alice. It's her imagination after all ;)
What's Shanghai like? - What made you get into making games? - If you had to have one of your past games made by another company/person, what game and what company would you choose? - As a game developer, what's your take on the whole "violent video games" debate? - What's different about working in your own indie company rather than a huge studios?	Shanghai is like what LA looked like in "Blade Runner", except the cars don't fly (on purpose). It's a mix of incredibly modern and amazingly old. High tech and dirt poor. Our studio is 1km from the heart of the city, but there are chickens running around outside he front door! You really have to visit to appreciate it. And I wouldn't want to live anywhere else!
	Wow, excellent question. So I'd LOVE to see Ken Levine do something with the Alice series. Or Tim Schafer do something with Grimm. If you've played either game, you probably get how awesome that would be :)
	Violent video games... media/content has an impact on our brains. We know that's true. What we don't know is what sort of impact violent games have on our sensitivity to violence. I DO NOT think violent games make people go out and act in violent ways. Actually, I would lean towards them making people care less about violence in the real world, while subduing their own impulses to act out real violence. If anything, I'd worry about a generation of kids being raised on hyper-violent video games losing sight of things like the true cost of real war. Odd I have to say things like "real war". See?
	Working as an indie means having a terrifying amount of freedom. We make decisions that we know might simply put us out of business 6 months from now. I don't actually mind the idea of someone else paying our bills and supporting us while we develop something (AKA a publisher), but I HATE the idea of someone shaping the types of products we make to fit on a limited amount of shelf space and structuring recoup deals so we can NEVER earn enough money to be free to pursue our own designs. These days you can't have cake and eat it too ;)
Plans for more Alice games?	I do have plans but I don't have control. If I made another Alice today it would complete Alice's hero-journey arc and see her realize the full potential of physical mastery combined with psychological mastery. Remember when Neo figured out he could mess with the Matrix and reality? Like that.
What inspired you to make "Alice?" Was it just a huge fandom for Lewis Carroll or did you think the concept was just perfect for a game? I remember playing it when I was a kid and thinking it was fantastic! Also, what made you decide to make a sequel about ten years later?	It was a song. "Trip Like I Do" by the Crystal Method. I heard it while zooming along the coast of California (Highway 1) and thought, "Huh, dark land of wonder?" I later realized the sampled lyrics came from "The Dark Crystal," so in some round-about way you could say that movie helped inspire the idea.
	The sequel was something I always had in mind. The 10 year timing had to do with my having left EA, moving to China, building a studio capable of doing a sequel, then going back and proposing the idea to EA.
What exactly do you mean by 'largest indie Western game development studio in China'?	Btw, we're the largest indie Western studio because we have 50 people working here, including 2 cleaning ladies, a receptionist, accountant, Office Manger, etc. Our core team is around 40 people. 6 of that group are from places outside China (U.K., Aussies, U.S., etc). Indie development is very rare here, especially on the "scale" we've achieved and maintained. It's just not an environment conducive to the kind of business we've built. We're an oddity. If we were corporate, I think you'd see a lot more studios exactly like ours. You don't.
Because to me that just sounds like you've gone and hired cheap Chinese labour to make games for a Western audience, which strikes me as more a corporate attitude than anything Indie.	I guess the thing that makes me different is that I actually live here and have done so since I left the U.S. eight years ago. Would it make you feel better if I'd used my God-given freedoms as an American to move to a less threatening country, like Australia or the U.K.? Or one where I had to pay people more to work for me, even though less of their wages went into their pocket at the end of the day (or paid for social services they could actually use, as opposed to dropping bombs on innocent children/families in the mountains of Pakistan)? Corporate? If it's because you think I've hired "cheap" labor, I'd once again ask you to look at the twisted manner in which big corporations (EA, Activision) skirt labor laws in places like California by denying healthcare and basic benefits to employees by labeling them 'contractors' or forcing them into part-time positions. Labor here in Shanghai isn't "cheap" by comparison. That being said, my own compensation has never been lower - certainly not compared to when I worked for EA or id Software. Then again, my cost of living is also relatively lower. Our employees are paid on a scale that is directly competitive (in many cases) to what they would be paid in the U.S. - but I take a local salary because I'm living locally. I dunno... I choose to live in another part of the world because I wanted to see the world and be exposed to new culture and new ways of thinking. I make games for a living so I opened a studio here. We focus on high-quality of life for everyone in our studio, which means we don't crunch or overtime (though it has happened a few times in our 6 year history). I feel the work environment I've created here is healthier and more sustainable than anything I could have created in the U.S.
Any plans to make an Alice movie? I'd love to see one.	Yeah, that gets asked very often. Sadly, I don't control the Alice franchise. I created it while working as an employee for Electronic Arts, so they own and control it 100%. Ask them!
How does it feel knowing that a company like EA is in control of one of your titles? Are they as bad to work with as they are with their customers? Also, thanks for my childhood, haha.	They are just a corporate machine. Machines are neither good nor bad. They are simply programmed to attain certain results - and to find ways to become more efficient at attaining those results. As long as you understand the forces acting on the market in which they operate you can "accept" the decisions they make. In a sense, they have no choice. That's the sad thing about becoming a massive, publicly traded corporation. Entities like that no longer make decisions based on what's best for their developers, IP libraries or customers.
I just want to ask, what steps did you take to get where you are now? And are those the same steps you would take today?	Mine is an unusual story. I was forced, due to family issues, to drop out of high school at age 17. Until I was 20 I worked as a car mechanic. I was then brought into id Software by John Carmack and the rest is history. My experience with computers goes all the way back to age 11 or 12 - and everything I know today has been self-taught. Because I'm a big fan of knowledge and learning, self-teaching comes quite easily... and based on what I've heard of institutional higher level learning, it sounds like this was/is the right path for me.
	I would NOT change anything in my past, btw. Some really bad things had to happen for me to get where I am today - but I recognize the value, even in those awful moments; things happen in a certain order and if we could change that order we'd not end up in the same place. I like where I am today.
Hi American McGee! Of course, I wanted to get the obligatory thank-yous out of the way. I actually found the first Alice near a dumpster when I was taking out the trash, and the discs were all fully functional! One man's trash is truly another one's treasure :) I thought that you concept did such a great job of highlighting the darker sides of Lewis Carroll and really brought out what I thought was Alice's "true" character. 1) What do you think is your greatest strength when it comes to bringing a game/idea to fruition? Ideas for the gameplay and immersion/experience? Or do you think you do well with the character development and the story? 2) Continuing on the last question, which one do you think is the most important? There are many games such as Counter-Strike and Starcraft that make their living based on gameplay, whereas almost all Square Enix games make success because of the super deep and consistent character development in conjunction with an engrossing, emotional story with several plot turns. 3) I understand that you will want to make future Alice games. When you do, where do you think the story will go? There is a lot of speculation concerning the ambiguity around the ending of Madness Returns. Have you thought of a Chrono Trigger-esque storyline in which certain actions influence the ending of your story?	Hey there! Obligatory thank you accepted ;) Someone threw Alice in the trash!? Shame! My greatest strength in this business is being able to surround myself with really talented people - and to keep them happy (most of the time). I'm good with the big, high-concept stuff as well. When it comes to the details of making games or getting them done, I'm so-so. These days I spent huge amounts of time on running the business, which I've found I'm pretty good at. We're still here after 6 years! There shouldn't be ambiguity at the end of Alice! She's attained mastery of the physical world and we see that blended with her mastery of the psychological world (which she came away from the first game with). If there's a third game, my hope is to see her leveraging both of those powers to enter the minds of other characters - so-called "Otherlands." Yes, this has an element of Psychonauts to it. So be it. Imagine Alice mind-raping Jack the Ripper. They lived in the same time-period, I've done the research. Hehe. These days I'm mainly focused on Minecraft. I love the amount imagination it pulls out of me when playing it. As for books, my Kindle front-page currently has a book on evolution/social behavior (Wilson), several books on circuit design, books on Rasberry pi (hence the circuit design stuff), a book called "You are not so Smart," also, "I'll Go Home Then" (David Thorne), and "A supposedly fun thing..." by David Foster Wallace. I tend to read several books at the same time - which is OK as long as they are all different topics.
Why did you attach your name to the title of Alice? Was "American McGee's Alice" just a cute way to try to market yourself and make your name known or did you feel you were primarily responsible for so much of the game that it was no longer a true team effort?	There's a longer version of this story, but the short version is that I never had the powecontrol to force my name on a box of anything. EA legal and marketing decided it was a good way to establish a version of the "Alice" name which they could own and control. I signed a bit of paper giving them the right - and there you have it. Once that was done, other publishers came to me asking to use the name for marketing purposes. I did something akin to pure marketing use on "Scrapland." You'll note that the games coming out of my studio today DO NOT include the use of my name. When I have a choice about it, I don't do it.
Hey. I loved playing your games growing up. DOOM and Quake were amazing, and Alice was really awesome too. Cannot wait to try Akanerio: Demon Hunters.	Hey! :)
1 Just curious, but why did you choose the name American McGee?	Hahahaha. Awesome. I didn't choose my name. My mother named me that. She was a hippy. She said it was that or "Obnard" or "Marrakesh". Really, REALLY happy it wasn't Obnard.
2 Are there any new games you have in the works that seem especially interesting (besides Akanerio or course)	Yes. Please check out our shiny new gaming portal, SpicyWorld. You can do that via Link to spicyworld.spicyhorse.co
Edit: 4 What do you mean by "better days" when you talk about the industry shifting?	Just that when I started it felt a lot more like a happy relationship between audience and developer. These days there's a lot of animosity going around - people are angry at publishers, press feeding off drama, gamers feeling ripped off, developers being hid or kept in captivity. I just think that we're seeing a shift back towards a better relationship between devs and audience.
I'm a semi-professional voice actor (most of my activity is on YouTube but I am trying to get paid work) and the thing I'd love to do most of all is voices for games. What can I do to make that happen? How do you cast for your games? Is it still the old know someone who knows someone routine?	Honestly, I don't know what to say... other than there are TONS of people out there trying to do what you're doing. Next to "Hey, I'm a sound designer and..." the emails we get from "Hey, I'm a VO person and..." are the most frequent "job, please?" emails we get. It's a tough market you've decided to enter. For our studio, we simply don't have a need to hire anyone. And statistically, when you think about games, where you might have dozens of artists or tech guys... there are usually about 2 people doing VO or sound. The odds just aren't that great.
Hey, LOVED the first Alice when it came out. I don't get to play many games nowadays but the art direction was, and still is in my opinion, some of the best I've ever seen! Alice 2 is extremely gorgeous as well.	Hey there! Happy you liked the Alice games :)
When I heard that you were going to come out with a Wizard of OZ game I was so excited! My hopes were that this would start a series of adaptations with similarly dark and gritty imagery and story.	OZ was picked up for funding and publishing by Atari (this was after I'd left EA and started being an indie producer, living in LA). A year into development they killed the project. By that point we had a running (and beautiful!) game, so we tried to shop it around to other publishers. Problem was (and is) that the game's development to that point cost Atari ~1 million USD. In order for another publisher to acquire the rights, they have to repay that money. On top of that, the development rights on my side of the table are all screwed up with former business partners. So the chance you'll see that Oz getting made are about 0%.
My question is why did The OZ project fall through and is there any chance we will ever get to see this or something like it in the future?	That being said, the underlying Oz property is public domain. So if I'm ever feeling sassy (and wealthy) enough to risk being sued by a bunch of people for thinking up a new interpretation, there might be a shot at getting a game done.
Www.gameplanet.co.nz/news/1020661.20130122.Atari-files-for-bankruptcy-to-escape-parent-company/ Is this the same Atari that paid for the development? Wonder how much the rights are worth.	It's kinda-sorta the same. If you look at the history of the thing called "Atari" you'll see it's REALLY convoluted. Beyond the Atari issue, there are's also the problem of my having some irate former business partners who also "own" small %'s of the IP. Getting a game made would also mean finding a way to get them out of the picture, something that based on my experience with them, would be harder than the Atari rights buy-back.
What is the most important piece of advice you can think of for someone starting out in the games industry?	Keep in mind that everyone goes into the industry thinking they have "passion" and that their passion will get them noticed. That means your passion is just like everyone else's... it won't get you noticed. What you need is an ability to display a WIDE RANGE of skills. If you're an artist, be able to draw more than just transforming robots or ponies. Be able to draw transforming robot ponies at the drop of a hat! Programmer? Don't specialize in stuff you're interested in. Pursue broad knowledge around AI, physics, multi-platform targeting, game play programming, machine learning, etc, etc.
	Once you're able to do lots of interesting stuff, PROVE IT. Build demos, create an amazing portfolio; just show how awesome you are! At Spicy Horse we don't hire people based on their degree (a bit of paper) we hire them based on their ability to SHOW US how awesome they are.
	Lastly, don't be a sound guy! If sound guys were made of water we'd all live in boats. I love me some good sound people, but seriously, there are SO MANY of them out there. Sorry.
Mr. McGee, I was wondering, why wasn't the recent Alice game released to the Mac? And are there any plans to porting any new or old games to the mac?	Where and how Alice gets released is 100% up to EA. You'd have to ask them why they didn't bring it to Mac... I think they'd tell you there isn't enough profit (for them) in it.
Also I'm living in Shanghai right now, why work in Shanghai where websites like Facebook, Youtube, and file sharing sites like Megaupload are blocked? Where are your headquarters, and can I visit? :)	I don't choose where I live based on Internet access or censorship policies. If I did, there'd be a very small number of countries to choose from.
EDIT: Added a few questions regarding Shanghai.	Our office is located in ZhaBei District, just North of People's Square (about 1km). You are more than welcome to visit. Email me to arrange a time: american at spicyhorse dot com.
What do you think about the law (that may be passed) of ESRB ratings being manadotory on all games? How much would it hurt you as an indie developer?	Funny how a non-government ratings board can have laws passed to enforce their selection and control of media in the U.S. This type of stuff is a violation of our rights as artists (and consumers) to create and consume the kind of content we want without government getting in the way.
	Not sure how much this would directly impact us - and don't see how it would be applied to web games. Not going to worry about it just yet ;)
Back in 2006 you mentioned that you had switched to Linux on your primary work machine and planned to stay switched ( Link to www.americanmcgee.com ). Are you still using Linux as you primary?	Nope! Can't do these days because of China + game dev tools! Seriously, we run a Windows network and a lot of our source control tools simply don't exist on Linux. Also, China is not an environment in which you find a lot of people experienced on Linux. Know why? Because if you try to download a Linux distro without a VPN connection, YOU CAN'T! Crazy Chinese government blocks open source OS's. Go figure.
	That being said, I run no less than THREE boxes at home. Hope that makes up for it ;)
	Also, we ARE pushing more and more of our internal (and external) stuff to Linux these days. Mainly because we just imported a crazy-smart Russian programmer to Shanghai - he's a HUGE Linux nut, so he's been working to bring our back-end stuff over from Windows and will also be responsible for porting our games to Linux.
	That's actually one of the goals of our current Kickstarter campaign for Akaneiro - get it running on Linux!
What's your next project?	We're in the process of launching a new one RIGHT NOW. It's called "Akaneiro" and you can play it via web or client: www.angry-red.com.
This looks very beautiful. I look forward to playing.	There's a Kickstarter for it as well. Search and find. You might like what you see ;)
I haven't played any of your games, but they look great! How much work generally goes into a game?	Depends on the type of game, platform, budget, etc. Some games take 600+ people to make (see Ubi's "Assassins Creed" games). Some take only 1 person (see "The Fart App"). Development schedules can last between 1 day and 8 years. Large-scale games often consume more man-hours to produce than a typical film might, by way of comparison.
How was working with the Shy the Sun crew?	They are fantastic in terms of creativity and capability. If you check out the trailers they did for A:MR, all you can say is "Wow!" What was frustrating was how EA Marketing interfered - telling STS from the start that ALL creative direction and final say would come from them, not from us (the developecreator of the story/tone). That resulted in trailers that were much darker and gorier than the game ... and that was a calculated disconnect created by EA. They wanted to "trick" gamers into believing A:MR was a hard-core horror title, even though we refused to develop it in that tone. Their thinking is, even if the game isn't a hard-core horror title, you can market it as one and trick those customers into buying it (while driving away more casual customers, like female gamers, who might be turned off by really dark trailers). It's all a part of the race to the bottom EA, Activision and the other big pubs are engaged in. Expect to see it get worse before it gets better.
"(while driving away more casual customers, like female gamers, who might be turned off by really dark trailers)"	I'm already in hot water with EA for mention of this trailer stuff. This wasn't just about 'dark horror,' it was about a representation of the main character (Alice) that I felt wouldn't resonate with the audience as I understand them - having met many fans in person (male and female). When a character many consider to be a 'hero' is cast in a negative, psychotic light...
Sorry to break it up to you Mcgee, but female gamers also love dark horror games. So becareful what you say here.	I'd love to discuss more, but at this point I simply don't want to cause additional hurt feelings over at EA.
What advice would you give to solo indie developers who are trying to turn their hobby into a living?	Make stuff! Plain and simple. You can grab the Apple Developer Kit and secure a license to publish for $99 - that puts you in front of millions of customers (billions?) and provides a way to hone your skills while building fun stuff. With stuff in hand, you have an opportunity to present yourself to publishers as a viable development studio. Or you may hit on the next Angry Birds and I'll be coming to you for work and publishing! :P.
It is common knowledge that literature cultivates the mind, but how about video games? How do you see your own role (or that of video games in general) in shaping the next generation? Do you ever make design decisions on the grounds of avoiding bad influence or for the purpose of being an inspiration/role model?	My design decisions are more driven by what I think the story or main character "wants" than what the outside world is asking for. "Alice" is a great example - on both developments I found myself repeatedly saying things like, "Alice wouldn't do that," or "Alice wouldn't wear that." That being said, I did choose to work with the property because I knew the things Alice would be things I'd agree with. Psychological backflip there.
	As for avoiding bad influence... I believe people have a personal responsibility to handle that for themselves.
	And as for being a role model... I do try my best. Most of that's done at our studio where I tend to lead by example.
Who in your opinion is the most talented programmer you've ever worked with?	John Carmack. No question. Actually, I'm pretty sure he's the most talented programmer anyone has ever worked with ;)
Years ago there were rumors flying around about Sarah Michelle Gellar starring in a big screen version of Alice. Was there any truth to the rumblings? Also, any future plans for an Alice movie?	There was truth. She accosted me outside a restaurant in Hollywood and went ballistic about her desire to play the lead role in an "Alice" movie. It was... interesting. Nothing ever came of it. The movie is caught in the Hollywood doldrums.
Alice was the best game ever! It's one of the few I've played all the way through. We were going to dress my 1 year old as Alice from the game (with blood and all) for Halloween but backed out at the last minute because we figured no one would "get" it.	Thanks! Yeah, children covered in blood. Maybe not a great idea.
Wasn't there a movie that was supposed to come out?	Movie... maybe. It's stuck 'in Hollywood.' We'll all just have to continue waiting.
Props to you. That game is awesome!	Thanks for the props! I'll use those to fight off the 100 duck sized horses.
What do you think of the state of copy and paste FPS games penetrating the market today and breaking records left and right?	I think it's sad. But it's also a sign of the industry nearing the end of this particular cycle of content and development. It's a sort of distilling down of content towards the last remaining lucrative audience. That doesn't mean it represents the larger, more curious audience - or the new gamers who are coming online for the first time, never having touched a mouse/keyboard or console controller. The bright side of all of this is that other forms of gaming and other delivery system are breaking records too. Just give it more time to balance out again.
I wonder then if you've played Spec Ops: The Line? It feels like one of the aforementioned copy and paste shooters but takes on a very different approach and feel to the genre. If you have played it what were your impressions coming away from it?	Have heard it's great, but haven't played. I'm sure there's still room for expression and awesome content... Just seems publishers are less and less interested in making those kinds of bets these days.
Just curious if you've played Rage, and how you think id Software in general is doing these days?	I've not played Rage for more than a few minutes. It felt to me, like many modern day games do, very 'plastic.' One of the things I think id games used to do really well was capture a sense of dark humor - even when you were gibbing a imp or using exploding barrels to take out a bunch of 'pinkies.' No idea how id is doing. We don't speak :)
Also, Akaneiro looks pretty sweet!	Glad to hear you like Akaneiro. We're very proud of it. And it feels like something good is going to happen with it. Very positive noises being made around it - and that noise is growing day by day.
What's your favorite game you helped create, and your favorite that you didn't?	Kinda torn on this one. I really enjoyed working on the DOOM/Quake games because I was able to get involved with SO MUCH. That being said, the "Alice" games really helped established my name, so they're difficult to ignore. As for least favorite that would have to be "Bad Day LA," but not because of the game itself - just because of the terrible conditions we had to endure while creating it.
Dude, thank you so much for Quake 2 and Quake 3. So good. SO GOOD. Grew up on that shit. Helped me bond with my dad. You're the shit. What made you want to make games? How did you get started making games? Are you romantically involved with an asian girl? I love asian girls.	Thanks! Please note I had NOTHING to do with Q3. I was fired from id just as development at that project began. As for how I got into game, please scroll down. That's been answered in some detail.
	And yes, I am involved with a lovely 'asian girl,' though she prefers to be called by her name, Yan.
	I'm sure Asian girls love you too! You should come visit ;)
Why do you find it acceptable to brand a game that many different people worked on as "American McGee's"? Doesn't that strike you as arrogant and disrespectful to all of the other people who worked long hours on this game whose name doesn't appear on the cover?	Mr. Lander, I sense of degree of animosity in your query.
	Before I respond, I'd like to know what you think of Sting putting his name on his albums, despite the presence of other artists in his band and crew? Or Tarantino, that disrespectful jerk, taking ALL the credit for his films when we all know perfectly well there are 100's (1000's?) of people responsible for getting those made. What about Captain Crunch, that arrogant Sea Bastard, claiming all the credit for cereal that remains crunchy despite the nefarious efforts of milk. And damnit, milk! How dare it claim right to describe that liquid goodness we all know wouldn't exist without the cow?! These are outright atrocities! Mr. Lander, we must do something! Quick, to Reddit! That's where we make things better! :P.
	Seriously, my friend... I think you might want to scroll down and read my previous response(s) on this topic. I could have just said that, but I really thought someone needed to put milk in its place. Also, I do my best to point credit for "my" work towards all the wonderful people who've made the choice to work with me over the years. I know I wouldn't be here without them. I think that's pretty obvious.
Where do you get off calling yourself Americanmcgee while setting up operations for your business in China rather than America?	You'd have to ask my mom why she called me American. I've heard a number of different stories from her on the subject. But, a pretty consistent theme is that, being newly born and without a voice, I didn't have a lot of say in the matter. Pretty similar to your own story I imagine.
	As for starting a studio in Shanghai. Actually, I moved to Hong Kong back in 2005-ish. Then around 2006, Gametap, a subsidiary of Time-Warner, asked me to make a game for them. For a number of reasons (detailed in previous responses) I decided to start the studio (for developing that game) alongside another business I'd helped start in Shanghai. I've been living here for 6 years now and am pretty happy with the decision.
	I "get off" on it most every day. It's an incredible time to be here. It all aligns really neatly with my favorite Mark Twain quote,
	“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.”

Last updated: 2013-01-25 17:19 UTC
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